Advanced search

Anyone else feeling a bit 'lone' at the moment?

(40 Posts)
IndiansInTheLobby Sat 13-Jul-13 21:13:01

Ok, so the sunny days are lovely. Filled with family and friends when I'm not working. I'm very lucky to have lots of people nearby. Had the paddling pool and lots of nice play days. However come night time I'm finding it hard. At home alone every night, toddler in bed listening to lots of fun gatherings going on around me. I guess I'm missing adult conversation a bit.

I love my life and I'm bloody grateful for what I've got but any suggestions how to beat this loneliness at night is very welcome. I do have people over occasionally but to be honest they tend to want to do things with their families in the evening. Fair enough. Just feel the 'lone' parent bit is extra apparent at the moment. Anyone else?

bigstrongmama Sun 14-Jul-13 20:36:34

Changeforthebetter - I'm in Yorkshire too... Pretty big place but if you are near...?

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 20:36:02

Cup of tea made. Ironing pile growing. Nothing on TV.Here we go again.

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 14-Jul-13 20:20:09

Nb I don't live in mainland Britain at all

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 14-Jul-13 20:15:41

BurberryQueen this sort of misinformed bitching is ALL my family of origin ever do. Probably why I haven't seen a single one of them in 6 months! :-)

Hamwidgeandcheps Sun 14-Jul-13 17:10:45

Is never have guessed from your nn CallMe he he he

I am at Janner Town on sea grin

teetering13 Sun 14-Jul-13 16:56:50

Northwest wannabe southwest here

I went self employed to fit work round the kids, I do love it but then it does isolate you even more ... can't win :/

Callmedreckly Sun 14-Jul-13 16:51:52

Im south west Hamwidges grin

Hamwidgeandcheps Sun 14-Jul-13 16:16:01

There was me thinking you meant the Indian in the cupboard....
I'm south west - I'd invite you all over for cake if you were nearer grin

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 15:26:13

Ha ha. Yes a west Wing nut. Unfortunately dick head ex took 3 DVD players and so I have to watch on the laptop hmm. At least I have that boxset for company!

changeforthebetter Sun 14-Jul-13 14:50:07

WTF? Part of my post was "eaten"angry
Indiansinthelobby - I had only just seen your nickname! That was why I referred to your good taste!

changeforthebetter Sun 14-Jul-13 14:47:45

Sorry for the random full stops - typing ineptly in full sunlight blush

changeforthebetter Sun 14-Jul-13 14:46:11

I know notanyanymore and I lived in one of those "happy couples" and it was lonely. It's just such damned hard work - relentless drudgery. I love my kids and they do see X regularly but I want to scream when people. Say it's "time off" - yes, time off from being a 24 hour LP and time spent catching up on jobs that need full concentration without the interventions of warring or wombling kids and that require you to be sufficiently awake ie not post-bedtime. I am sick of living in an exhausted fog the whole time. I take. Low dose AD too. I am probably becoming more and more introverted as I need time alone to wind down from a very people-focused job.

Indiansinthelobby <belatedly notices OP's nickname blush> you clearly have exquisite taste!grin

notanyanymore Sun 14-Jul-13 14:32:47

I sometimes miss being a single parent. I feel more alone now me and dp are living back together then I did when we were apart. Often all those 'jolly families' that make you feel sad when your heading up your single parent family are not as happy as you might think sad

changeforthebetter Sun 14-Jul-13 14:27:42

I'm in Yorkshire smile

RitaFajita Sun 14-Jul-13 14:26:03

OMG teenage years sound hell. Struggling to do our best on our own for years, and then be treated like shit dirt - lovely!!!

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 13:48:48

I get the comment about never earning enough for holidays etc. It's frustrating.

One thing that I did do this year was make a decision to bloody pull my finger out and go for my dreams. I leave my current job at the end of August and will become fully self employed. I've decided to stop being scared and go for it and this has given me a focus. This has also given me a daily activity which isn't just ds.

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 13:43:43

Vent away. I think it always helps to know that there are others out there feeling the same. Kinda stops me feeling so self indulgent and justifies my feelings.

I feel so much for all those posters who are obviously really struggling with stuff at the moment. I felt pretty low at the start of the year and went to the doctors. On a fairly low dose AD which helped massively. Most of the time I feel pretty positive and that's largely due to my support network. I don't know what I would do if I was totally alone.

I'm in the North West btw.

burberryqueen Sun 14-Jul-13 12:42:06

thanks everyone - can i vent a bit here then ? grin what really pisses me off is my half sister who has not spoken to me for years since i got cross at her calling me an 'unmarried mother' pumping my daughter for (mis) information and then reporting back to the 'family' as an illustration of what a crap mum i am.
and yes G if you are there i mean you grin

Hamwidgeandcheps Sun 14-Jul-13 12:32:19

Every time I read a thread like this I want to start going to a lone parent group. I looked at ginger bread but there's nothing in my area. Anyone else had any joy?
Where are you all?

changeforthebetter Sun 14-Jul-13 12:24:36

Burberry brewthanks

Indians - I know what you mean. I sat I. My garden with a glass or 3 of wine last night listening to lots of socialising. DCs overnight with X but felt lost and isolated. Have PMT which doesn't help. DD1 has loads of problems - under CAMHS but it all takes so long.

teetering13 Sun 14-Jul-13 12:24:12

I never knew how shit things could get till my child turned into a teen .. I can sympathise burberryqueen sad

burberryqueen Sun 14-Jul-13 12:17:02

life as a single parent of teenagers is crap - i have zero pleasure in life, just responsibilities, bills, and criticism from the authorities and rudeness/isolation from my'family' such as they are.

one child told me to 'leave him alone' this morning and the other one told me that i had gone back on every word i had said, and to 'fuck off'.
her little face screwed up with petulance as she said it.

Then i found my laptop lying on the floor this morning with finger smears up and down the screen and a broken power lead. I have an online business.

i dont actually know how life can get any worse, i am literally counting down the days.

Callmedreckly Sun 14-Jul-13 12:07:14

Im staying in quite a bit as well, with LO, the pram & sling are too hot.

We did go out very early today though, before it got to warm - just to a car boot sale.

27cats Sun 14-Jul-13 11:45:02

I find it really hard when colleagues talk about holidays/trips out/home improvements etc. I'm stuck in a time warp, barely making enough to keep us living in our home, let alone make any kind of progress. No parents or other family support really. DC older now, so that side of things gets easier in a way as they don't need childcare, but also kind of rubs it in that you are alone. Realised today that I've not been out of my home county for years!! No money, energy etc, plus some anxiety issues. Feel like I've been a facilitator for others to have a life and now they're on track I'm cast aside and no life for me.
I do get together with friends sometimes, but in my opinion you have to get on really well to do things like trips out with others as we seem to want different things out of the day?!
Plus I'm one of these miseries who really doesn't get on well with this heat at all, so am spending most of this lovely looking weather inside with a fan on, alone. (Pity party I know, sorry.)

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 11:22:01

equinox I'm heading out but promise to write back later to your post.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now