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Anyone else feeling a bit 'lone' at the moment?

(40 Posts)
IndiansInTheLobby Sat 13-Jul-13 21:13:01

Ok, so the sunny days are lovely. Filled with family and friends when I'm not working. I'm very lucky to have lots of people nearby. Had the paddling pool and lots of nice play days. However come night time I'm finding it hard. At home alone every night, toddler in bed listening to lots of fun gatherings going on around me. I guess I'm missing adult conversation a bit.

I love my life and I'm bloody grateful for what I've got but any suggestions how to beat this loneliness at night is very welcome. I do have people over occasionally but to be honest they tend to want to do things with their families in the evening. Fair enough. Just feel the 'lone' parent bit is extra apparent at the moment. Anyone else?

chickensaladagain Sat 13-Jul-13 22:20:21

Ooo scary, just started a thread on this subject

I've got a huge dose if self pity tonight

teetering13 Sat 13-Jul-13 22:22:14

Early night with the kindle does it for me :/

Childcareisscary Sat 13-Jul-13 22:25:37

I definitely hear you. Fifth year and I can't get used to the idea that this is it for me.
I've become a tv junkie which is bad, but heyho. Such is life, and no arguing over programmes :-)

Callmedreckly Sat 13-Jul-13 22:29:55

Hi, Yes I think I am!
LO is 12 weeks & I have for the first time got her to sleep in the Moses Basket in the lounge tonight.
We usually go up to bed at 8.30 as she cries for a while.
So I have just looked around the lounge, made a drink & am thinking - Now what do I do!

We went to the park last week & I cried walking round, It seemed that it was all families having fun, & that made me feel sad.

susiedaisy Sat 13-Jul-13 22:30:46

Yep me too, it seems everyone else is busy doing summer evening things

nearlymumofone Sat 13-Jul-13 22:39:48

I think most people feel like that lone or not. Always looks like it's one big party/bbq/family gathering for everyone else but that's not really the case.

27cats Sat 13-Jul-13 22:40:32

Like childcareisscary I've been doing this for years and there are times when it doesn't seem so bad, and others when it's all pretty crap. Tonight is the latter.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 13-Jul-13 22:42:06

what the hell do you think mums net is for? grin

here wine

not everyone is doing summer stuff.

only the people in the park were having fun, the rest were probably arguing in sainsury's, but you did not see that. some of them were probably arguing the park. appearances can be deceptive.

IndiansInTheLobby Sat 13-Jul-13 22:49:59

Thanks for replying ladies. I think that you're probably right nearly. Bloody Facebook doesn't help as it's full of people going on family holidays, family days out blah blah blah. It's my own envy and I need to squish it I know.

Callme sorry to hear that you cried. I remember doing that in the supermarket! blush
I guess the reality is that before ex buggered off I was probably pissing some other person off with my 'perfect' yeah right life.

Reading is good, as are baths (I've never been so clean) but need to invest in some box sets I think.

IndiansInTheLobby Sat 13-Jul-13 22:51:38

Thanks for the wine
Drinking helps grin

Hamwidgeandcheps Sat 13-Jul-13 23:02:00

Quit Facebook. Seriously. I did a few months back and I feel 100% less shit about being home alone. Are all my friends having amazing bbqs without me? No idea! Unless they tell me to my face and if they do it doesn't come across like a huge boast grin

bigstrongmama Sat 13-Jul-13 23:15:08

I'm feeling a bit 'lone' too! Nicely put, btw. The nights are long and lonely for me. I'm having some fun chatting on online dating though, which makes the evening more fun. Also, phone calls with family and friends who I don't often see. And netflix is fab : )

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 07:16:38

I think I need to get Netflix. I also think that you're right about Facebook. I've not attempted online dating, I don't think I'd get on well with it tbh.

If only I could be like JK Rowling and spend my evenings writing my fortune. Heh ho.

equinox Sun 14-Jul-13 08:01:18

Yes I am terribly lonely at present I have had a setback and lost somebody I thought was a friend. I too have only yesterday come off facebook I am sick of reading how great other people's lives are!!

No holiday abroad for 6 years and no proper relationship for 8 years it really is crap there is nothing to look forward to so it seems.

I once knew a lovely woman who told me that in the summers it is in actual fact the prime time for people to commit suicide as when the weather is warm and people are out and about the ones feeling alone are even more at risk. Although I do not feel suicidal I do wonder who on earth would miss me if I wasn't around bar my son. Of course my son keeps me going. I just don't feel anyone is really listening to me these days and taking me seriously.

I can't sleep for long then I wake up and it is hard to get back to sleep. I think sleep deprivation is a real killer.....!

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 11:22:01

equinox I'm heading out but promise to write back later to your post.

27cats Sun 14-Jul-13 11:45:02

I find it really hard when colleagues talk about holidays/trips out/home improvements etc. I'm stuck in a time warp, barely making enough to keep us living in our home, let alone make any kind of progress. No parents or other family support really. DC older now, so that side of things gets easier in a way as they don't need childcare, but also kind of rubs it in that you are alone. Realised today that I've not been out of my home county for years!! No money, energy etc, plus some anxiety issues. Feel like I've been a facilitator for others to have a life and now they're on track I'm cast aside and no life for me.
I do get together with friends sometimes, but in my opinion you have to get on really well to do things like trips out with others as we seem to want different things out of the day?!
Plus I'm one of these miseries who really doesn't get on well with this heat at all, so am spending most of this lovely looking weather inside with a fan on, alone. (Pity party I know, sorry.)

Callmedreckly Sun 14-Jul-13 12:07:14

Im staying in quite a bit as well, with LO, the pram & sling are too hot.

We did go out very early today though, before it got to warm - just to a car boot sale.

burberryqueen Sun 14-Jul-13 12:17:02

life as a single parent of teenagers is crap - i have zero pleasure in life, just responsibilities, bills, and criticism from the authorities and rudeness/isolation from my'family' such as they are.

one child told me to 'leave him alone' this morning and the other one told me that i had gone back on every word i had said, and to 'fuck off'.
her little face screwed up with petulance as she said it.

Then i found my laptop lying on the floor this morning with finger smears up and down the screen and a broken power lead. I have an online business.

i dont actually know how life can get any worse, i am literally counting down the days.

teetering13 Sun 14-Jul-13 12:24:12

I never knew how shit things could get till my child turned into a teen .. I can sympathise burberryqueen sad

changeforthebetter Sun 14-Jul-13 12:24:36

Burberry brewthanks

Indians - I know what you mean. I sat I. My garden with a glass or 3 of wine last night listening to lots of socialising. DCs overnight with X but felt lost and isolated. Have PMT which doesn't help. DD1 has loads of problems - under CAMHS but it all takes so long.

Hamwidgeandcheps Sun 14-Jul-13 12:32:19

Every time I read a thread like this I want to start going to a lone parent group. I looked at ginger bread but there's nothing in my area. Anyone else had any joy?
Where are you all?

burberryqueen Sun 14-Jul-13 12:42:06

thanks everyone - can i vent a bit here then ? grin what really pisses me off is my half sister who has not spoken to me for years since i got cross at her calling me an 'unmarried mother' pumping my daughter for (mis) information and then reporting back to the 'family' as an illustration of what a crap mum i am.
and yes G if you are there i mean you grin

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 13:43:43

Vent away. I think it always helps to know that there are others out there feeling the same. Kinda stops me feeling so self indulgent and justifies my feelings.

I feel so much for all those posters who are obviously really struggling with stuff at the moment. I felt pretty low at the start of the year and went to the doctors. On a fairly low dose AD which helped massively. Most of the time I feel pretty positive and that's largely due to my support network. I don't know what I would do if I was totally alone.

I'm in the North West btw.

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 14-Jul-13 13:48:48

I get the comment about never earning enough for holidays etc. It's frustrating.

One thing that I did do this year was make a decision to bloody pull my finger out and go for my dreams. I leave my current job at the end of August and will become fully self employed. I've decided to stop being scared and go for it and this has given me a focus. This has also given me a daily activity which isn't just ds.

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