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Advice needed regarding contact do i get referral??

(7 Posts)
luckimum Fri 12-Jul-13 22:15:41

I have 2 DSs who are 5 and 8 years old.Their moron of a father is serving 18 months for the assault and sexual assault of his ex girlfriend and is wanting to see the children when he is released from prison. Although he has never showed any violence to me or the children, he actually took his eldest son (who was 14 at the time) with him when he went to visit his ex and he was in the car when his father was in his ex gf's house assaulting her.

I think the best and safest way to start contact with the children again is through a contact centre.Mainly so I know where he is with the children but also to see if he will maintain contact if he has to make the extra effort.

Does anyone know who I contact with regards to getting a referral?

Meglet Fri 12-Jul-13 22:23:32

Probably via the police / womens aid. In your case I would hope it's very straightforward.

I was given the contact centre details after I'd had to call the police a couple of times for near misses (threats and verbal abuse). They were great and the police domestic violence unit passed my details to womens aid. I was able to arrange it myself and there was a 3 month wait, they didn't force me to use it or impose any dates on me. I made 2 appointments and my XP said he wouldn't attend, he didn't and we've never had to deal with him again.

NumTumDeDum Fri 12-Jul-13 22:26:14

I used to refer (I'm a solicitor, not currently practising) but it depends on the centre as to who they'll accept referrals from. Women's aid might be able to refer, also try CAB. Otherwise a local solicitor could put you in touch.

keelyboo Sat 13-Jul-13 15:59:23

im fairly sure my sister self referred? but def ask a solicitor because if she didnt then thats who did it for her as was no court hearing/mediation etc only solicitor contact

he will have to pay all costs though as he is the reason he needs supervising (on benefits or not when released as my sisters ex was on benefits and had to pay) and it isnt cheap

they were amazing though sister arrived 15 minuts befor ex, he was then made to stay 15 mins after the finished contact so sister could get home and he couldnt follow her etc (abuse related situation also)

keelyboo Sat 13-Jul-13 16:00:20

oh and he paid the start up costs, and one visit, and never bothered since asks once a year (usually oct her birthday or dec around xmas) but it gets no further than a letter soon as he realises he has to pay contact centre costs he loses interest again waste of space that one definatly!

HerrenaHarridan Sat 13-Jul-13 16:45:24

Hi op, we were referred by family mediation in our area.

If you google family mediation and your town or postcode it should bring something up.


cestlavielife Mon 15-Jul-13 15:51:56

ind your local one and call them to ask

some volunary run less formal.
some mroe formal need a cou referral or social worker etc some cost a lot

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