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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Xp has got a flat

27 replies

nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:38

The agent rang today to say it's his. All he has to do now is get the council to pay the bond (he is still on ssp) and he should get the keys next thursday or friday.

Am pleased but not as pleased as I thought i'd be oddly.

Once he has got furniture and stuff the kids can stay over every sat night, which I should also be pleased about but oddly am not really.

Someone slap me.

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FioFio · 26/05/2006 10:38

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:40

Hopefully yeah, ta Fio

I will be going over to give it my seal of approval seeing as the kids will be stopping there. Just hope it's all ok.

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Bugsy2 · 26/05/2006 10:42

This is really good news Nutcracker. You'll feel more pleased when he is looking after the children for a bit & you get a bit of a break.

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:43

Yeah I'm sure in 6mths time I'll be looking forward to my saturday nights each week alot.

Think I am just grumpy today in general LOL

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LadyTophamHatt · 26/05/2006 10:44

why do you thinkyou're not pleased Nutty?

(i suspect thats a million dollar question though....)

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dinosaure · 26/05/2006 10:45

Nutty, hope you feel more positive about it all soon.

How are you, been thinking about you?

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:46

Errrrm not sure tbh, suppose it's sort of like the final nail in the coffin or something.

Reminds me of when my mum and dad split up and I hadn't spoken to my mum for months and months and then one day she said she had found a flat and was leaving, and i cried and cried. I was pleased but not pleased all at the same time.

Think I kinda feel like he is getting sorted too, whilst I am still floundering alot.

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:48

I'm ok thanks dino, having good and bad days tbh.
I feel a bit abandoned some days which is silly cos i kicked him out.

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dinosaure · 26/05/2006 10:48

Give yourself time, nutty, it's very hard adjusting to not being in a long-term relationship with someone any more, even if the relationship wasn't particularly happy and you were the one who was instrumental in bringing it to an end. It just does take time to get to grips with.

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dinosaure · 26/05/2006 10:50

You've done fantastically well so far - I really am full of admiration for you.

Maybe now is the time to start focusing a bit more on what you want out of life? Maybe set some goals, some short term ones and maybe one or two long term ones - to give you something to aim for?

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expatinscotland · 26/05/2006 10:51

Aw, nutty! What a relief, though.

Hope time smooths it all over.

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:51

Aww thanks dino

I am applying for a job at the mo which if i get it i'm hoping will change things for me a bit for the better.

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Blu · 26/05/2006 10:52

Slap!

Another step forward, but even going forward can have it's painfulneses and difficulties.

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Blu · 26/05/2006 10:52

Fingers crossed for your job!

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:52

Yeah your right expat, I think given time I will feel alot better. I have no patience LOL

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dinosaure · 26/05/2006 10:52

Best of luck with the job app, nutty.

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:53

Thanks guys

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Marina · 26/05/2006 10:54

Good luck with the job interview nutty :)
I think the positive feelings about xp's new home will come to the surface soon :)

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LadyTophamHatt · 26/05/2006 10:54

Oh nutty, I'll bet all the tea in china that he's floundering too.

He's probably shi**ing himslef at the prospect of having to live by himeself, and do everything for himslef.

And, although I've never been in your situation I suspect that anyone who has would still be floundering after only a few months. You have reasons to flounder. He, on the hand hasn't(IMO anyway)

He's a grown man Nutty, it's time he sorted himself out.

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 10:57

Very true LTH and tbh he still won't have to stand on his own two feet now because his mum will help him out i think. The flat will be furnished quicker than I can blink.

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fattiemumma · 26/05/2006 11:03

isnt that the most irritating thing.
that you have to struggle along with kids in tow yet he, a single grown man still gets to fal back on his parents....been in a simialar situation and it just annoys me...i am however over it you will be glad to hear. lol

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LadyTophamHatt · 26/05/2006 11:06

"because his mum will help him"

and he's how old???

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sobernow · 26/05/2006 11:07

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nutcracker · 26/05/2006 11:21

TBH If she was my mum, I wouldn't want her help, she is evil.

The kids don't know about the flat yet. I am not telling them until he has the keys in his hand just incase.

I think they will be really pleased to have some sort of routine where they go and spend time with him each week.

It does bring back bad memories for me but I always knew the split would do that.

I am pleased for him and pleased for the kids but don't feel pleased for me. Very confusing.

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mistressmiggins · 26/05/2006 18:38

Hi nutty
thought this must be your thread

Its another first - first night alone from DP, first time without kids for a few hours, now first separate house and soon first night children....it hurts but does get better and is another one off your list

It is a little confusing as you dont feel 100% happy and think you should
BUT you have lost one future and now have to try to imagine a different one
PLUS maybe you feel a little anxious for the children or maybe even that the children will enjoy themselves more than with you - I know I feel like that sometimes

you've only been in this situation a short time and done really well

you will look forward to your evening off - able to go out on the town