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No contact and CSA

(7 Posts)
SummersComing1111 Mon 20-May-13 07:47:35

My DS is not aloud to see his farther anymore due to DV and emotional abuse. I have found out he has a new job os it worth me calling CSA bit may open a can of worms or just keep doing it alone?

betterthanever Mon 20-May-13 09:38:03

You have every right to go to the CSA as you know but it would probably open the can of worms... very difficult descion. From the sounds of your post you have official protection from your ex? but I think the question of `is it worth it' can only be answered by you. If life is good now and you can manage why risk it?

jacks365 Tue 21-May-13 15:23:48

Go to the csa. It has nothing to do with contact at all. He has an obligation to pay for his child

kittycat68 Wed 22-May-13 09:16:53

unless you cant manage financially i would leave well alone! you dont want this ex back into your life! getting the csa involved will only open the communication door to him. its not worth it, you are well rid of him keep it that way.

meglet Wed 22-May-13 09:20:35

If you have proper protection from the courts / police / SS then going to the CSA might not be a bad thing.

But if he's almost certain to mess you around or start up threats then sadly you may be better off out of it.

I'm scared what my X will do when they increase his payment when the CSA charges come in, I think we'll be in for abuse or him not paying.

betterthanever Wed 22-May-13 10:23:58

My ex wanted nothing to do with his DS until the CSA not just caught up with him as he thought he could get away with it even then but when they served him with a liability order a few years after that.... now he has legal aid (I do not) and is rewriting history to have contact and PR with DS who has been very upset by current `progression of contact' should we call it.... abusive men (and women) retaliate... that can will be opened I am pretty sure - peace and happiness is worth much more than money.
Could I ask do you have a `no contact' order? and if so how you managed that as I hear all the time they are very, very rare.

Lioninthesun Thu 23-May-13 12:05:14

Trouble is (in my case at least) that as soon as CSA get involved ex takes it as a personal affront and assumes I have been calling them constantly and pestering. He also seems to think it means I want to keep him in MY life! Trouble is many of the men who dodge CSA don't actually think of the children, sadly. They think that all of the money is going to be spent by you on luxuries as they have no real idea how much a child costs.
My ex always starts spouting 'she is crazy!' when CSA contact him, and they are doing so at the moment. I am sure he is running about telling everyone who will listen that it is all my fault he doesn't see his daughter etc (he has been advised by a judge to use Contact Centers but refuses) because he doesn't like having to remember he has been a total shit.
I imagine this is the same for a lot of men, unfortunately.

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