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ex returning ds early

(7 Posts)
oopsadaisymaisy Sun 19-May-13 15:32:03

Because he doesn't want ds in his home because he's behaved badly. So ex text me to pick ds up straight away because of his attitude. Ds just turned 11,.he can be Cheeky. Im so sad that his father feels its appropriate to send him home rather than discipline. Ds was tearful when he got home stating his dad wants everything perfect and he's not perfect. It makes me so sad and I'm worried about how ongoing rejection from dad will impact. I guess all I can do is support ds. Anyone have experience of this?

oopsadaisymaisy Sun 19-May-13 15:40:15

I should add he only has him 6 hours a week.

Happyasapiginshite Sun 19-May-13 15:46:39

Was this a one-off or a regular thing? IF it's a one-off, maybe it'll give your ds a kick in the backside and stop him being cheeky. If it's an ongoing thing, could you just ignore the texts and not be home until the time he's due home?

oopsadaisymaisy Sun 19-May-13 16:58:25

Hopefully it won't happen again but my son will be Cheeky and I doubt he'll manage being what his dad wants. I don't know what the answer is.

PurpleThing Sun 19-May-13 18:42:02

He only has him 6 hours so I doubt he really knows how to parent him.

Is family mediation an option?

Or would you say he is emotional abusive, in which case I would talk to ds about how to handle his dad and accept that the less time he spends with him the better. Sounds like he is trying to punish ds (and you) by not letting him spend time with him.

Make sure you give ds the message that you love him even if he is not perfect but you do expect respect and co-operation from him.

oopsadaisymaisy Sun 19-May-13 21:42:39

Thanks Purple. Yes, ex is emotionally abusive to both me and ds. Poor little soul. He's at the age where he probably won't want to go to his dad much longer. I'm pleased he doesn't spend too much time with his dad. It used to he hell. Now its not so much.

PurpleThing Sun 19-May-13 22:44:37

In that case get this book. I'm recommending it all over the place but it's very good.

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