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separation anxiety. business trip.

(4 Posts)
margaritanera Sun 19-May-13 05:49:15

my little sunshine in 18 months old.
I've been back at work since he's 1 and he's on a really nice nursery which means that I'm used to be away from him around 8 hours per day. This is totally different though. I'm now being send abroad for 4 weeks on business.
I choose to be a single mum and his other progenitor is not in the picture at all. So, I can't loose my job. I must go...
my mum and my sister are gonna stay at ours and will be looking after him and he will carry on going to day care. I know they will take really good, lovingly care of him.
I'm rationally worried that something bad might happen but my most intense fear is that he will forget me. this thought makes me cry every night since my boss gave me the assignment.
Am I being crazy? Can my toddler forget me in a month? Has anyone gone through a similar experience?
Help me sad

SavoyCabbage Sun 19-May-13 06:08:50

My dc were away from their dad for three months and my youngest was a few months older than yours. She really didn't understand where he was, despite Skype and of course us telling her.

I tried to keep life busy and I would say that she was ok for the first six weeks. You can't explain time to them, or at least mine didn't understand. And sometimes she didn't want to talk to him as she was busy doing something which must have been awful for dh but I didn't want to make it a chore.

In the end she got angry with him and then after that I think she started to grieve. It was difficult but it was far after the four week stage.

MiconiumHappens Sun 19-May-13 06:41:12

I have a job that means I have to go away every now and then normally for a couple of weeks at a time, but soon will be much longer.

This is just my experience so please nobody flame me I am just saying how its been for me...... The first time I worked myself into right mess, tied myself in knots in the lead up to leaving, and do you know what, it really was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Life will go on perfectly well, I found having everything extremely organised before I left helped me feel more relaxed and in control. Having clear guidelines for what you must be contacted for could be a good idea also.

I think a good strategy is to say to yourself, right I have to do this so instead of beating myself up about it take the opportunity to take some time for you whilst on this trip and return refreshed. If you have to go I don't see any point torturing yourself, stay busy and positive smile your little one will be fine and its also good bonding for your mum, sister and DS. He won't forget you!

Give yourself a break, hope its somewhere sunny and you can enjoy the oddwine.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 19-May-13 08:51:50

I have a friend whose husband had to go somewhere hot and sandy for 6 months when theirDS was 18months, DD1 was 6 weeks old, then again when DS was 4years old,DD1 was 3years old and DD2 was 9months old and then finally when DS was 6, DD1 was 5 and DD was 3. At the time Skype and FaceTime were impossible to that location.
The first time the children really didn't appear to miss him, the second time the DS missed him and the final time both DS and DD1 missed him. The biggest factor seemed to be the ability to understand time. Prior to that saying Daddy will be back soon seemed to be enough.
They always loved his letters in which he drew pictures I suspect postcards will be easier for you to come by and will probably go down really well.
I hope you get some lovely time to yourself while you are away. I always try to see the good in these things partly learned from the same friend who had a list of things that were better whilst he was away.

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