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i must be totally insane but....

(13 Posts)
whowoulddoit Mon 22-May-06 16:21:10

its not really a huge dilema, but its driving me mad..

ive changed my name for today, just in case, so feel free to tell me i bonkers...
i really want another baby!!!!

i have two children and im kind of able to get pregnanat without a relationship ( ive had an offer from a dear friend who is also very broody, and gay).
i jus dont know how to ask for advice from real i thought you lot could help...

VeniVidiVickiQV Mon 22-May-06 16:24:56

So you and your gay friend would bring this baby up together then?

Kidstrack Mon 22-May-06 16:26:28

Mmm tricky one, would friend want to be involved with baby? would you want friend involved with baby? how strong is your relationship, would it come to an end? What do you tell baby when its older? sorry i'm rambling on but these questions just popped in my head and i'm sure you are thinking all these thoughts too!

whowoulddoit Mon 22-May-06 16:27:27

well yes and no..i would have custody and he would do what he could at first, but definatly alot, he is aslo god father to the others so he is around alot, i just dont want it to sound like "i want one know..stomp..."

im not a lone parent by choice...but it looks like im considering it

VeniVidiVickiQV Mon 22-May-06 16:30:58

I think there is a lot of potential for this particular arrangement to end in tears.

I also think if you want another baby you should have one.

Feistybird Mon 22-May-06 16:31:06

It would change your relationship with your friend I'm guessing.

whowoulddoit Mon 22-May-06 16:32:39

well i was hoping someone would say that, i feel that i am able and prepared to make the decision, and no one can really stop a person from having kids....but i just have so much to consider..i would prefer to have another without a father/partner (i can feel the tension already!!)

PinkKerPlink Mon 22-May-06 16:40:36

why would you?

honestly I wouldnt, I think you are insane to consider it

Kidstrack Mon 22-May-06 16:45:17

In affect you could arrange a donor and no one would say anything, its what would work for you and your friend that you need to think about, i have no qualms that your are a fantastic parent, and for what its worth i know a lot of children that are from single parents and are very well balanced without a second parent, you will receive mixed opinions on this one, but its you and your family that is the important ones to consider including what you explain to your other 2 children.

HappyMumof2 Mon 22-May-06 16:50:33

Message withdrawn

VeniVidiVickiQV Mon 22-May-06 17:23:58

Actually i agree with Feistybird. The relationship will definitely change between you and your friend.

You will have to rely on each other, you will expect things from him, he will expect things from you, he may have a different attitude to parenting from you. You will have (what is a beautiful and wonderful) emotional tie that will last forever and will be up to you two to make sure you dont break it - for everyones sake.

You may be happy to raise this child on your own, but it seems to me that the father may want to be more involved than deep down, you would really like him to be.

whowoulddoit Tue 23-May-06 21:33:08

i had a long and rather emotional chat wth Gay Friend ( offical name!!) last night, i think we have agreed that if i want a child i should do it alone and if he wants one he should too, our friendship may not survive given my past pregnancies and i dont want to loose him in all this.
thanks for he support, i have been trying not to feel awful about this but if i do and im not even pregers, then i think it isnt the right time.
oh well, i suppose i can babysit for people for a few months to get it out of my system...

HappyMumof2 Tue 23-May-06 21:37:07

Message withdrawn

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