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Im just not cut out to be a mum

(16 Posts)
Isitschooltimeyet Fri 03-May-13 16:09:54

Thats it realy. After 3dcs you think i would have got my head around being a mum but right now i realy dont want to be a mum any more. Im sooo fed up of being at home allday everyday with mardy kids. Im fed up of having grubby finger prints on every surface, snot, food and whatever else the youngest smears down my jeans. Im sick of the daily grind, washing hoovering ironing kids baths, cleaning, food shopping. Its all too much, i could and have sat and cried. I no i sound like a selfish cow and that i should feel blessed to gave 3 healthy dc.

RubyOnRails Fri 03-May-13 16:17:07

Yeah, I'm having a day like that too. Felt better after bit of a cry at my three year old who seemed to finally understand why I was so fed up (his constant whinging). He finally tidied his room and apologised for being so difficult all day. I find it helps to express in the most diplomatic way possible so kids don't just think you have a face on.

House still a bin, mind.

finickypinickity Fri 03-May-13 16:24:31

Dont be too hard on yourself and definitely dont cry, its pointless, i know from experience. I'm now re married so can share the jobs when he is willing and i still feel like that some days.

Have someflowers and lots ofwine from me.

Look on the bright side we have a lovely long bank holiday weekend ahead of ushmm

It gets easier, 2 of mine have left home nowgrin

I'm not much help but dont want you to think you are the only one who feels like this at times.

Trazzletoes Fri 03-May-13 16:28:22

Massive hug, OP. I know exactly where you are coming from, especially today! You aren't alone.

Isitschooltimeyet Fri 03-May-13 16:33:21

Hmmm not sure about the lovely long weekend. Thats another thing all the woohoo its friday status' on facebook it doesnt make a twattin difference to me if its friday tuesday on free flight to the moon day cos there all the friggin same to me. I am such a mardy cow

Isitschooltimeyet Fri 03-May-13 16:33:54


finickypinickity Fri 03-May-13 16:41:08

Lol, you are allowed to be a mardy cowgrin

I've been sat on my arse all day on MN enjoying the peace and quiet before all hell broke loose at 3.10. I'm about to run around doing some housework before Dh gets home so at least it looks like i have been busy.

To be honest he probably wont notice what i have or havent done until he falls over the kids shoes or treads on a bit of legogrin

Everyone boasts on FB about happy lives, thats what its there for, to irritate the shit out of everyone else on a Friday afternoon.

I was single with 3 kids for so long i hated Sundays especially because i couldnt drive so have a hug from me smile

Isitschooltimeyet Fri 03-May-13 16:46:33

I dont get any peace ive always got a kiddie chewin at my ankles. I cant even pee without a knock on the bloody door.

queenofthepirates Fri 03-May-13 19:12:28

Can you get out just once a week and have something to look forward to? Get a babysitter in a go to a class? Sounds as though you need something to break up the week.

Oh and a good cry works wonders for me!

Isitschooltimeyet Fri 03-May-13 19:44:49

I could as 2 of the dcs are at their dads on weekend but i still have the youngest (i dont think the dr cut the cord) and tbh i wouldnt know what to do with myself its been that long since i had me time. I havent got any friends just school run mums that i chit chat with. I keep watching the buses stop at the bus stop across the road and i think to myself i should just grab my purse and get on the next bus.

HerrenaHarridan Fri 03-May-13 21:08:47

Oh dear!

You sound very isolated and lonely.

Please don't be so hard on yourself, we all feel like shit sometimes, and yes even the best parents resents their child sometimes!

They are bloody hard work an even after you've poured in every I ice if your soul and being, they're still champing at the bit for more!

You are lucky to have three healthy dc, that doesn't mean your are going to feel it every second!

Does your youngest sleep ok? Could you get a sitter in while they are asleep? What about dad/ other family? Some kind of evening class would give you some me time and a chance to meet people. What about sign language, sewing, self defence or a knitting circle?

You need to get out and make so friends, you need some grown up conversation in real life!

If you really can't get out in the evening ( it happens, I bloody can't!)
How about some kind of activity with younger dc? Can you get him a nursery place for a couple of afternoons a week?

You sound like you feel very trapped and I need you to understand that's not because you are a shit mum who doesn't love her kids enough, it's because you are spending too much time with only them for company and that's not the way your brain is designed to work!

Sure start are a lifeline for me, I would be lost without them. Their services are for any one with preschool children so you can also try them.

There is so much help out there, please don't suffer in silence.

Isitschooltimeyet Fri 03-May-13 21:41:03

No family (that issue could be a thread its self). I am in contact with sure start, got a timetable from the centre so going to a couple of groups nxt week and also swimming with the 2 youngest whilst the eldest is at school. No he doesnt sleep well hes very hit and miss one night he will sleep through and the next hes a nightmare. He is in a routine of sorts. I just need someone to tell me that theres a secret instruction book on how to be a mum. Im crap at budgeting, cooking, routine and im not organised at all. I do love my kids i just feel that im failing them.

nomdesw2 Fri 03-May-13 22:28:29

You sound like me a few years back, OP.

Whereabouts are you?

HerrenaHarridan Sat 04-May-13 13:53:41

I feel like that too! Even on a good day I think why can't I be like this everyday!

As long as they know you love then they will be alright in the long run!

Whereabouts are you, let's see if we can't find some kind of group that'll give you some grown up time.

Have you been with surestart long? Have you told them your struggling emotionally? I have been told that I can drop in anytime regardless of timetable after having a bit if a let go in the office after dropping dd off. Sometimes they need other kids and you need other grown ups!

3 kids is a lot if emotional drain, there is not something wrong with you because you are feeling empty and drained!
Please, please understand this, no one could love their 3 kids properly and not feel sucked dry!!

niceupthedance Mon 06-May-13 16:54:27

Have you got homestart in your area? Sounds like they could help you out, even though it's only a couple of hours a week.

Ilikethebreeze Mon 06-May-13 16:58:23

Could you get on that bus with the youngest for a few stops?
At least you will both then get out of the house, and you might get to talk to a few people?
Not sure after I have now wriiten it, whether that is a good idea or a bad one.

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