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Warning rant alert! It's so unfair

(8 Posts)
Lonecatwithkitten Fri 03-May-13 09:22:15

I know compared to some of the problems others have this is minor, but I am have just had enough.
ExH admitted affair 1 year ago left shacks up with OW some of time she is with her husband some of the time (who knows everything!!!). She has a DD who physically bullies my DD. They have all been having sleepovers together since 3 days after he left. The DDs are both 9.
I work, full time run my own business employing 17 people and due to this pay nearly everything for DD including school fees (I don't begrudge this). ExH has good job director of manufacturing company. My job is clinical and involves nights and weekends.
Since the first of March I have been trying to firm up the summer holidays for childcare and he has been fobbing me off. So yesterday I sent email saying this what DD and I have discussed does it work for you or not.
Today I get an email back saying can't do particular days that I have no choice, but to work (he has know this for 3 months) as he and OW are going on holiday alone. Bad enough, but in 13 months I have had 2 days where I have not worked and not had DD. I have sorted out everything to do with DD, because he is just so useless. WTF did he not just say at start I am on holiday that week.

musickeepsmesane Fri 03-May-13 09:27:54

The mistake you made was giving him a choice. You asked 'does this work for you or not' Next time do not leave room for negotiation. DD and I have made these arrangements. This is what suits her.--Now piss off, you twat--

musickeepsmesane Fri 03-May-13 09:28:44

strike through fail, never mind. You get the gist. flowers to cheer you up

musickeepsmesane Fri 03-May-13 09:30:47

Also, to be clear your XH is the twat blush That could be misunderstood, sorry

kittycat68 Fri 03-May-13 09:47:28

op how does your DD feel about her father and this situstion how old is DD?

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni Fri 03-May-13 09:50:07

I'd be wary of giving him actual dates - he prob booked the holiday to make in coincide.
Next time just tell him YOU have booked something.
Selfish twat will just have to deal, as you do.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 03-May-13 11:27:40

Kitty in answer to your question she is 9 and hates it, but is desparate to see her Dad.
He wanted 50:50 co-parenting so on legal advice I need to follow this route and have it fail to justify any other arrangement because it's what DD wants. Whilst I know all of this is a means an end it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

kittycat68 Sat 04-May-13 08:59:29

Ah Op i do feel for you. unfortunately children suffer over and over again when the NRP dont put them first, but all too common. As much as its frustrating (to say the least) you have to sit back and watch it fall out. If you dont do this your daughter will end up blaming you.

I think its a shame these days that courts put more emphasis on NRP having as much contact as they want and disprupting childrens stability, rather than common sense. im affraid that mothers are classed as second class citizens, who are unable to put there childrens needs first, only men can do that!!\\\\confused.
In the long run though she will see her father in his true light.

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