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forever alone?

(39 Posts)
HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Tue 23-Apr-13 20:13:51

ExH and I have been separated a couple of months now I think, he's dating already and off meeting up with a woman he cheated on me with. He's quite clearly a worm, I know that.

But I feel like nobody is ever going to love me. He never did, not really and now I have a two year old and a load of stretchmarks in tow. I am finding it hard not to feel bitter, I have given up the best years of my life for him, moved to an area where I knew no one and now have about three friends who I hardly see anyway.

DD is with ExH tonight and I feel so lonely. I'm fighting the urge to go to the shop and buy a bottle of vino and some fags (haven't smoked in years). I just feel so shit and I don't have anyone to come round and talk to me.

Anyone want to join my pity party?

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Wed 24-Apr-13 11:26:19

You will get there, honestly grin
I know how hard it is, I have had to move home and it seems all my friends have gone!
I just meander around alone grin, I'm quite used to it now.
I've a wonderful friend from on here both single mums but we are two hours away.
You should have a look on mums net local smile

Switchedtoeatingbutter Thu 25-Apr-13 16:26:40

It sounds like we all need friends not men!

Where do you all live? I'm in Glasgow.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Thu 25-Apr-13 17:21:23

I'm in Sussex

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Thu 25-Apr-13 17:58:07

South Yorkshire.

DoingItForMyself Thu 25-Apr-13 18:26:03

I felt like you too Hungry, why would anyone want to be with a nearly 40 y/o mum of 3 with stretch marks and a mum tum? I was obviously unloveable for stbxh to treat me so badly, but guess what, I'm not unloveable!

I met someone (online, I know!) and, he is absolutely gorgeous, sensitive, loving and kind.... and he is besotted with little old me. Don't write yourself off. Its early days, you need to grieve for your old relationship, dust yourself down, make a few mistakes along the way and once you have your confidence back you can put yourself out there and meet new boyfriends, or just friends.

You will find it easier to meet friends once your little one is at school or nursery and you'll be surprised how many others are in the same boat, as sad as that is, its quite reassuring.

Meglet Thu 25-Apr-13 18:58:58

I haven't been in a pub garden in years. That's a place where grown ups go to relax and drink alcohol isn't it <<hazy memories>>

MissPricklePants Thu 25-Apr-13 22:36:12

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds I am in South Yorkshire too!!

KDKDKD Thu 25-Apr-13 22:41:36

"this to shall pass" - a little mantra i keep saying to myself when i feel down. My x walked out 6 months ago today, he was having an affair with an x girlfriend and thought that was a better option than his wife and 3 year old son. All i can say is that it will get better, you deserve so much more. One day you will look back on this and thank him for releasing you for something much better. Hugs xx In the meantime, pick up the phone and speak to a friend or family member, don't be sad by yourself as it will feel so much worse.

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Fri 26-Apr-13 18:43:44

His exciting social life made him about three hours late to pick up DD today since he was hungover from the night before. hmm

Prickle whereabouts? Any good beer gardens near you? smile

PurpleThing Fri 26-Apr-13 21:12:23

Have you got a parenting / contact agreement? I put in that if he is more than 30 mins late with no phonecall, contact is off. You can't spend your day sitting about waiting for him. I have learnt the hard way to always have a backup plan on days he is supposed to have ds.

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Fri 26-Apr-13 21:38:00

No, he's promised it won't happen again, and since this is the first time I will have to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was pissed off though for two reasons, one DD was poorley and I'd been saying "It's ok, Daddy will be here soon to take you to the DR" and so she was getting anxious waiting for him and two because I really needed to get to Uni. I ended up taking her to GPs myself and being VERY late for uni, he did apologise but then went on to tell me about how great his night was, as if I actually wanted to hear about the night that had made him let my DD down. I think if it happened again I would have to do something like you have done purple

Snowrose1311 Sat 27-Apr-13 08:46:39

Hi OP,

I've been in a similar situation. On my own, with 2 DS, new to area / no friends, also no family support... I've been separated 2.5 yrs now & have slowly started to build up friends. Occasionally I feel lonely but on the whole do not want a new relationship atm.

From your posts it sounds like you'd feel a whole lot better if you had more friends. Can you take your DC to nursery / playgroup or anywhere else where you might meet & befriend other mums? Maybe playgrounds, church, soft play rooms, neighbours, kids clubs / activities etc. As you start to build a new life for yourself that is meaningful and enjoyable for YOU , then you'll start to feel better. I really like the life I've got now, it's better than I expected when I first separated from my ex H.

Good luck xx

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Sat 27-Apr-13 11:19:30

Not really atm snow as I'm so busy with work and uni. but only a couple of months and uni will be done for the summer, so will branch out a bit then.

I am lonely but I do prefer life now. It's not perfect but it is better, before we split I just felt lost and sad.

PurpleThing Sat 27-Apr-13 18:05:15

Ha it's funny how similar they all are. Stbxh also thinks I want to hear about his great new social life!

Keep a diary of these incidents, hopefully it is a one off but does no harm to have dates and times written down, just in case. Sadly I don't tell ds until his dad is at the door as it is so hard dealing with their disappointment plus dealing with changing your plans.

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