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How should I deal with this please ?

(9 Posts)
prettywhiteguitar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:10:00

This is not the most serious situation I've had with exp but it has caused a lot of tension and I'm not sure what to do, so any advice appreciated !

Ds was at his dads for a week at Easter, whilst away exp cut his hair very short, it was sort of down to his shoulders with a fringe all layers so it looked like a boys hairstyle honest !! Anyway exp didn't mention he was getting it cut really short just said he was taking him to the hairdresser. Anyway I thought he liked his hair, so it was a big suprise when he dropped him off after his holiday, I wasn't pleased that exp didn't tell me but I don't mind ds's new hairstyle so whatever it's done now.

So I texted exp after he'd left saying it would have been nice to warn me you'd got ds's hair 'cut' cut

No answer to that so I left it, anyway ds goes off to his dads last weekend and when he gets dropped off I'm in the garden, his dad just lets him into the house and leaves.

We normally have a conversation about how ds is doing and if anything happened over the weekend, I fell like exp is behaving like a teenager and I'm pissed off we've worked really hard to maintain a good relationship for ds and now hes doing this over something as petty as not telling me about a haircut.

Dp wants me to ring him to sort it out but I always do this, I want exp to be an adult and Ringing him up makes me the one acting the parent role, god I am bored of this so well done if you got this far!

So should I be the adult or just leave him to it ?

TheFallenNinja Tue 16-Apr-13 10:12:20

It's a haircut. Might serve you better to leave it, keep your powder dry.

prettywhiteguitar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:16:18

Yeah I kind of had just left it now he's bring weird do I call him and say there is no need to behave like this or just let him ?

prettywhiteguitar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:17:08

I like the powder dry reference, me and my brother where only discussin the correct use of that saying last night

SummersComing1111 Tue 16-Apr-13 10:17:34

Id be questioning why the change in attitude, an i wouldnt be happy about the hair cut either, a trim is fair enough but he should of run it past you if he was planning a complete change.

Having a good relationship is always easier and better for your child, but if he wants to play games you cant help that.

Maybe reach out one more time and ask him what hes playing at if he gives u no reason and just messes you about, then id count your loses you tried and thats all that counts

prettywhiteguitar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:25:52

I think the change in attitude is that his dad was around during the holidays and may have been talking to him

He quite often comes out with a load of talk after he's been round him, mainly because his dad was a very involved absent dad and exp does the bare flipping minimum, unfortunately all his extra involvement is usually directed in a controlling way and no actually anything positive

Exp was complaining a month ago that ds wasn't using his full double barrel name and he was worried that ds was losing contact with him but I don't agree, ds is very bonded with his dad and often talks about him, it's just exp being insecure. We did talk about it at the time and I reassured him but again this is me being the parent, I can reassure him and he still behaves like s prick

prettywhiteguitar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:26:27

Sorry exp's dad

DeskPlanner Wed 17-Apr-13 11:45:46

How did your ex let ds Into the house ? Has he got a key ?

prettywhiteguitar Wed 17-Apr-13 16:14:00

Oh no the front door was open as I was in the garden

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