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Next step after absent father fails to attend first Mediation appt.?

(5 Posts)
Snowme Sun 14-Apr-13 22:58:12

I have a solicitor appointment tomorrow Monday afternoon, to decide what I want to do next regarding my ex's application for access.

He didn't attend the first and only Mediation appointment and there's been no correspondence from him or his solicitor.

He hasn't seen is two children (5 and 3) for over a year now, lives 200 miles away, and there is a DV past between us, some of which my eldest remembers, but not it appears traumatically so. I left when the youngest was 4 weeks old, so he has no bond with his father.

I am eligible for legal aid (as this process began before it was scrapped).

I believe my ex is not interested in seeing his children but just wishes to continue to have some control over my future happiness, as he has already expressed in email he wants some kind of vengeance (his word).

As it was his idea out of the blue to apply for access but he has not even attended Mediation (which I believe is now compulsory if you want to pursue access through the court), should I just released solicitor from further involvement, or ask that they wrote to his solicitor to confirm my ex's wishes now he hasn't attended Mediation, or should I continue the court process and apply for sole residence,or just do nothing at all assuming 'no news is good news'?

Thankyou for your views smile

Snowme Sun 14-Apr-13 22:59:36

iPad autocorrect Grrrr apologies for grammar & syntax glaring errors.

Xalla Mon 15-Apr-13 08:40:46

I think I'd do nothing...but will your legal aid still be valid if your ex takes action in a few months?

If it isn't, I'd ask your sols to write to his confirming he no longer wishes to proceed.

lostdad Mon 15-Apr-13 09:10:56

The court process will continue until the court decides otherwise.

Your solicitor will likely point out at the hearing that he failed to attend mediation won't look good on him (the judge may not be amused) but ultimately it won't make that much of a difference.

The court has a wide ambit of discretion and will make an order it believes that are in your dc's best interests - this includes mediation.

If I were advising him I'd be telling right now that he's shot himself in the foot and not helping himself. Emails stating he wants `vengence' would only reinforce that for me.

You ask whether you should apply for sole residence. Couple of questions for you: What will you say when the judge asks you why you feel it is in the best interests of your dc?

And out of interest - what is his application for? Contact?

HerrenaHarridan Mon 15-Apr-13 13:12:39

Continue with process! Tbh I think it should be standard no matter how amicable the split that there is some kind if legally recognisable written agreement of how care will be divided, and how conflict will be resolved!

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