My divorce is going through at the moment, and am now trying to decide whether to keep my married name, for the sake of my children so that I match their surname, or whether to revert back to my maiden name.
I've kept mine, no particular reason other than I quite like it. I am not the only Mrs Choco. Twunt's dad's first wife (not twunt's mum) also kept it. So me and Mrs Choco the first are both divorcees of the twunt line.
She's pretty awesome. I figure I am too, even with his name
(my 2 DC also have it, which is why I didn't change it I guess)
I'm in the process of changing back to my maiden name. but I plan to use my married name for things relating to the children. ie school stuff. I felt like I lost myself during my marriage. And not having my own name really didn't help that. I'm very excited to be getting back to the old me
Definitely changing my name, I already have not most things, just waiting for the absolute to do bank accounts etc. I feel that the children have a part of him so it doesn't matter if they have his name, whereas I need emotional distance and myself back.
Changed back about six years after separation when we finally got divorced. Sticking points were a) hearing someone in the dentist waiting room call for "mrs xdh" and thinking "I am NOT Mr xdh's wife thank you" and b) contemplating remarriage and knowing I didn't want my formal name to go from "wife of xdh" to "wife of dp" - I wanted my name to be be "Miss ME"
Luckily we double-barrelled our names, so I will be going back to mine, I presume stbxh will do the same and the DCs will have both names, which seems like a win win to me.
If I had changed to his I would definitely change back now as I don't want to feel any more 'tied' to him than I have to be through the DCs. I might ask if the DCs wanted to d-b their names to match us both, but if they didn't I'd rather have the 'right' name the majority of the time and just be referred to as Mrs XH by school (although once they know I'm sure they'd manage it on any official correspondence).
I'm keeping my married name (for now) as I've had it since 1997 - my maiden name doesn't 'sound right' as I haven't used it for so long.
I'm also keeping Mrs (for now) as I don't want to be a Miss or a Ms.
I was joking with a friend about changing my name and title completely though - apparently as long as you don't intend to defraud you can call yourself whatever you like. Maybe I'll be Empress Galaxia Googlesnurk or something