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did you keep your married name after divorce?

(14 Posts)
sailingmummy Sun 14-Apr-13 22:30:04

Hi,

My divorce is going through at the moment, and am now trying to decide whether to keep my married name, for the sake of my children so that I match their surname, or whether to revert back to my maiden name.

What did / would you all do?!!

Mendi Sun 14-Apr-13 22:34:41

I changed back, even though I have two DC who have his name.

I just couldn't have it. We were married less than 6 years and it never felt like ''my" name.

The DC wanted to change names with me but that would have been a battle too far and now they are fine with it.

Do whatever feels right to you.

chocoreturns Sun 14-Apr-13 22:40:47

I've kept mine, no particular reason other than I quite like it. I am not the only Mrs Choco. Twunt's dad's first wife (not twunt's mum) also kept it. So me and Mrs Choco the first are both divorcees of the twunt line.

She's pretty awesome. I figure I am too, even with his name smile

(my 2 DC also have it, which is why I didn't change it I guess)

RedBushedT Sun 14-Apr-13 22:44:52

I'm in the process of changing back to my maiden name. but I plan to use my married name for things relating to the children. ie school stuff.
I felt like I lost myself during my marriage. And not having my own name really didn't help that.
I'm very excited to be getting back to the old me smile

DotCottonsHairnet Mon 15-Apr-13 15:57:48

Cant wait to change my name back - even if for some things it will be easier to use my current name ie with schools.

Machli Tue 16-Apr-13 02:08:33

Kept the name as I want the same name as my dc. However I am under my own name on FB and email etc.

redskynight Tue 16-Apr-13 08:03:48

Definitely changing my name, I already have not most things, just waiting for the absolute to do bank accounts etc. I feel that the children have a part of him so it doesn't matter if they have his name, whereas I need emotional distance and myself back.

purplewithred Tue 16-Apr-13 08:19:07

Changed back about six years after separation when we finally got divorced. Sticking points were a) hearing someone in the dentist waiting room call for "mrs xdh" and thinking "I am NOT Mr xdh's wife thank you" and b) contemplating remarriage and knowing I didn't want my formal name to go from "wife of xdh" to "wife of dp" - I wanted my name to be be "Miss ME"

DoingItForMyself Tue 16-Apr-13 08:27:56

Luckily we double-barrelled our names, so I will be going back to mine, I presume stbxh will do the same and the DCs will have both names, which seems like a win win to me.

If I had changed to his I would definitely change back now as I don't want to feel any more 'tied' to him than I have to be through the DCs. I might ask if the DCs wanted to d-b their names to match us both, but if they didn't I'd rather have the 'right' name the majority of the time and just be referred to as Mrs XH by school (although once they know I'm sure they'd manage it on any official correspondence).

ItsYoniYappy Tue 16-Apr-13 08:35:40

I'm not even divorced yet but I use my maiden name for everything I can. I use my other name for school and will no doubt continue to do so, when I finally get divorced.

DippyDoohDahDay Wed 17-Apr-13 14:12:00

Can you go back to being a miss? Don't have to be a ms.? I hated being called mrs dippy yesterday...as am no longer a mrs

ItsYoniYappy Wed 17-Apr-13 14:26:23

I usually get asked, I say Miss or Ms and look confused They usually call me Miss, I detest seeing letter with my married name now, I want a divorce. Cannot trace my X. Yet.

imtheonlyone Wed 17-Apr-13 14:31:10

It's £4 extra to be a miss again!! £4 well spent if you ask me!!!!!

Sidge Wed 17-Apr-13 14:31:59

I'm keeping my married name (for now) as I've had it since 1997 - my maiden name doesn't 'sound right' as I haven't used it for so long.

I'm also keeping Mrs (for now) as I don't want to be a Miss or a Ms.

I was joking with a friend about changing my name and title completely though - apparently as long as you don't intend to defraud you can call yourself whatever you like. Maybe I'll be Empress Galaxia Googlesnurk or something wink

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