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so angry

(7 Posts)
keelyboo Wed 10-Apr-13 13:55:32

found out today from my niece (well exdp's but we were family for a long time) that he isnt caring for his mum and is just claiming the benefits his sister (nieces mum) is doing a lot of the caring hospital apts shopping etc and as hes practically living with his gf now it makes sense because she lives a good 40-50min drive from his mum depending on traffic.

i dont get maintenance because ive held back as he gets so little and he has them every other weekend, thinking he was trying to be a good person caring for his mum and going without etc as he gets so little though he could earn extra and work around caring but never has, hes lazy.

my mum says i should report him then he will have to get a job and the kids might stop going without then, but it just seems so harsh but i am really struggling and dont see why we should while hes sitting on his backside living at his girlfriends getting all the benefits for having his own house etc and not paying for his children

I also found out hes pirating dvds and not just for him hes making extra money selling them through a friend because the kids told me i mean what sort of example is he setting them?
bit of a what would you do question really?

balia Wed 10-Apr-13 17:28:40

Go to the CSA, thank your lucky stars/god of choice you aren't married anymore and leave it at that.

50shadesofbrown Wed 10-Apr-13 17:47:11

Personally, I'd say shop him. He's basically a scrounger. If no-one cheated & claimed benefits they shouldn't, there would most likely be more money in the pot for the people who really deserve it. Likewise with the pirated DVDs. Why should he get to live off the state using someone else's benefit money while you go short.

kinkyfuckery Wed 10-Apr-13 17:52:18

I'd shop him for the DVDs if you have any proof.

The carers allowance thing is difficult though. If someone is caring for the mother, it's up to them to sort out the finances. Are they aware that he is fraudulently claiming? Are you sure he is?

keelyboo Wed 10-Apr-13 19:58:01

kinky he gets paid to look after her through benefits so he claims carers allowance housing income support etc but isnt doing what he should be, so not the carers allowance i mean yeh he could give it to his sister but he shouldnt be claiming the rest as they only come with caring for his mum.

according to dd he has boxes of dvds and folders of lists and he sells them at the hairdressers...he took them with him!!!

kittycat68 Wed 10-Apr-13 20:23:23

keelyboo i doubt if hes claiming income support as he would have to have a child living with him at his address. to claim carers allowance he has to care for his mum a minium of 35 hours per week. others can also help his mum. I think you are on very shakey ground here. You sound very bitter about your ex. If you do report him you would find that your already poor relationship with him could get worse. ie he could report you for the same thing or socail services etc. think caREFULLY BEFORE YOU ACT.

kittycat68 Wed 10-Apr-13 20:25:02

uNLESS YOU HAVE HARD POOR , NOT THE WORD OF NEICE ETC THE CSA WONT DO ANYTHING.

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