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no real friends

(13 Posts)
karrie8 Sun 07-Apr-13 18:16:33

Does anyone else have this prob im a single mum to a two year old. I find it so difficult to meet friends, I have a few old friends but they either dont have children and always at work or have boyfriends or husbands.
I have been to groups with my son but find some just have there own little groups of mums. And then sometimes when I go to the groups no body speaks to you!
How do you guys cope I sometimes need some adult chat lol I am starting to look for work I can work around when my sons father has him. Sorry for that moan I dont expect anyone to have answers but am I alone on this?

Toomanybabies Sun 07-Apr-13 21:25:59

Have to reply and say I know how you feel. My dcs are at their dad's tonight and I had no one to go out with. I'm also job hunting in the hope that at least I will have some grown up conversation.
It's very isolating when they are young, start looking for a nursery place now for when your dc is old enough to attend. I never liked playgroups and often found them a bit cliquey. At nursery your little one might get invited to parties or playdates so you will find a mum friend there.
You are not alone on this at all.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 07-Apr-13 21:57:05

Hi op, I'll be your friend if you live near Edinburgh even better!

I know exactly how you feel! Try different groups they are not all cliquey. Also maybe you can use the nights she's at her dads to join a book club or self defender class smile

ozzywiz Sun 07-Apr-13 23:48:17

Defo know what you meen, im single dad to 5 kids so even going mums groups isnt an option for me.

karrie8 Mon 08-Apr-13 07:27:28

Hi thankyou for your replies, unfortunatly I live along way from edinburgh. Im pleased im not alone on this, and gosh yes single dads must be alot more difficult we only have like one dads group I think once a month. I will have a look into things I can join, I have registered my son at nursery, so hopefully yes I meet some mums in future. I spose I should try and enjoy our time just together as im sure it will go quickly.

Foxy800 Mon 08-Apr-13 08:52:56

I know how you feel too, single mum to a 7 yr old, old friends still see occasionally but they all have their own lives as you say without children, or moved away or working etc. I do work but as soon as I leave that is kiner it. I do get invited out but due to lack of babysitter its hard to go.

overtheraenbow Mon 08-Apr-13 09:54:00

Me too friends are great but busy. Family too and no one wants to go out, would love to meet up with others I am thinking maybe a gingerbread group or look at local meetups ( though I suspect full of discontent older singles but if anyone else has been to one am willing to be persuaded otherwise (: ) tough when you are not ready for dating but having someone to go out for a chat/drink would be nice too, I think that's why so many people turn to OD so soon, but personally feel I am not ready yet.

Work will help Karrie I have recently returned to work ( Part time till end of summer) this has resulted in a few lunch meet ups /coffees at the weekend etc.

Foxy, have you thought about your DC's PTA ? I have always avoided them like the plague but feel now it would be good as having moved to the area recently would help my DS make more friends as well as give me something to do.

keelyboo Mon 08-Apr-13 10:24:52

where abouts are you? im in hull i have 3 but my youngest is 2 smile

it is hard most of my friends i met when the girls started school..but thats a long way off for you. agree work would help and i avoid baby groups etc i never found it a place to make friends

karrie8 Mon 08-Apr-13 10:47:42

I live in norfolk its a shame we all live so far apart lol
Ive been on the online dateing sites aswell lol but god im not sure some look like trouble I dont need.I think I be happy with friends :-)

keelyboo Mon 08-Apr-13 11:01:30

Is there online sites for making friends? i dont know be worth a google i reckon though.

I met my bf on POF, i joined with a profile stating i wasnt after anything serious i wanted to get out meet people have some fun, i went on a few dates, then i went on a date with my now bf and havent looked back since.

I love meeting new people and getting to know them so i enjoyed it but very happy now with my bf i found going into dating with no expectations was quite refreshing plus i was never dissapointed lol

Foxy800 Mon 08-Apr-13 15:05:20

Thank you overtheraenbow. Would love to be a part of it but due to work I am unable to commit to anything. Also sadly, due to working long hours for the first two years and a bit of dd's school life and me not doing many school runs till recently when now I do most of them due to hours changing at work.But this meant apart from saying hello and chats in playground I didnt form the friendships like many of the other parents.

Unicornwanderer Mon 08-Apr-13 20:24:53

Yeah i'm in this club, although i have actually been trying DC does go to clubs etc but i get flustered easily prolly because i have not socialised for so long so i either don't say anything or sound like a right one to my own ears sigh. I watch other mums and wonder when my confidence deserted me, as for dating again i have literally no idea how to even unravel that hurdle in my head never mind in reality lol

equinox Fri 19-Apr-13 08:46:12

How about a college class if there is a creche at least that way you are stimulating your mind too? Also some volunteer work if you aren't working right now but if you don't have willing relatives or funds for childcare again that might be tricky.

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