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can I just have a moan

(6 Posts)
iwantanafternoonnap Mon 01-Apr-13 20:52:43

Just been promoted but have to be more flexible with hours e.g. weekends changing fixed shift patterns etc although they are going to try and stick to the hours I do now. I should be excited about this however, all I am thinking of is if they change my shifts how is my DS going to manage with not knowing where he is at or how I am going to manage the childcare??

My fecking Ex does not have to worry about this at all, he went off with OW and does not even see DS and just boasts about his bloody 5 star holidays on Facebook (he's blocked but people tell me!) He gives no thought to our wonderful, funny, noisy and very energetic DS or how he needs caring for etc. He doesn't have to consider turning down promotions because of child care issues. Him and the OW have 2 very good incomes plus her bloody army pension while I have one wage and now it seems I can't even earn more with promotion to try and give our DS a better life.

Oh and my mum told me today he was boasting on facebook about how he is engaged to OW. Just feels a bit shit right now as I don't have the time/childcare to even get out and meet another partner let alone have the cash to go out as I put taking my DS places above what I would like to do. Plus to be really bratty and selfish I want a 5 star holiday without a toddler as I am bloody shattered! When will this Karma kick in that everyone tells me about????

Right moan over and I am off to get a glass of wine

queenofthepirates Mon 01-Apr-13 21:20:29

Aw sweetie, sounds like you haven't been able to celebrate your fab new promotion so sending you a big congratulations!

Hope you've had a dance round the living room?

Fleecyslippers Mon 01-Apr-13 21:29:53

Congratulations on your promotion grin

And maybe go and have a squish of that lovable, noisy gorgeous DS ?

And pass me that bloody wine before you drink it all wink

I always imagine OW screeching at Ex for leaving skid marks on the toilet when I get melancholy. Helps no end wink

iwantanafternoonnap Mon 01-Apr-13 21:47:51

Thank you. No I haven't been able to celebrate it at all really due to not being sure how the shifts will work out.

It just seems that no end of shit has happened because of meeting him - traumatic birth, PND, PTSD (10 months off work with those) he left for OW when DS was 3 weeks off his 2nd birthday, was very twatish regarding contact and now refuses to see DS 3 at all, he's threatened to have me and DS thrown out of our home despite him paying nothing towards the mortgage just so his name can come of the deeds, pays the bare minimum but has many holidays/nights out/weekends away, he has been promoted. Living some cosy life with OW while I am sat here on my own thinking that I may have to turn my promotion down after all the sodding studying at uni I have done to get promoted in the first place.

Finding out about the engagement today has just made me miserable. Normally I am okay and realise I am lucky today I am fed up!

Fleecyslippers Mon 01-Apr-13 22:44:32

I think there are always left field things that come out of the blue to send you back a step. I know what you mean about the no end of shit - I often dream about how different life would been if I'd never met him.
I'd seriously think about asking your friends not to give you any feedback about his FB shit is a good place to start. The engagement stuff is bound to hurt but tbh a pair of cheats getting engaged smacks of a desperate desire to prove the validity of their 'relationship' - she probably knows that her being promoted has created a vacancy for a mistress.
What sort of practical things do you need help with in order to make your promotion workable?

iwantanafternoonnap Tue 02-Apr-13 12:25:12

Thank you. It is my family telling me and I do say I don't want to know but some things they can't help saying out of shock I think lol. He is a serial cheater though as he cheated on his first wife before he met me and she threw him out, he cheated on me with the woman he is now getting engaged to but, worse I think for me, is that unbeknown to me his first wife had taken him back when he met me in Canada. Ex told me they had been separated for 6 months blah blah showed me army paperwork to prove it and low and behold over a 1.5 years after I met him I found out he was lying! Mind you from what I can work out he was already cheating on me by this point so the guy is really a catch and OW most definitely welcome to him.

I am lucky as I have a great mum who looks after my son however, I will not do 4 12.5 hour nights in a row as I would not see him and that is taking the piss to expect my mum to look after him for that length of time too. Hopefully it will all work out okay and I have spoken to Union who is willing to help negotiate if need be plus my team leader is supporting me as well.

My set shifts have worked so well for DS and me and has meant that despite EX his life has still had some stability rather than not knowing when he is staying at Nanny's etc. I know I don't have much to moan about really and a lot luckier than some. Just feeling like life will be one long childcare issue and no money or fun for myself right now and for years to come LOL

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