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(27 Posts)
devilcakes Fri 29-Mar-13 09:15:34

Hey, i was wondering what child maintenane is for, i know that sounds like a stupid question but my ex is being a bit of a cunt at the moment and saying that cos the money he's giving me for our two dc isnt going all on them (clothes, toys ect) hes threatening to cut it down,
Its going mostly on them, Christmas Birthdays treats ect but I've had to use it occasionally on food or to pay a bill.
So is it ok to use it they way i am or should i just spend it all on them?
Sorry its all a bit rambled just trying to get it out properly!

ThingummyBob Fri 29-Mar-13 09:19:01

He is an arse, yes.

It becomes part of your household income to spend as you please.

I'd advise specifically putting it towards wine and nights out dancing grin

devilcakes Fri 29-Mar-13 09:25:40

Haha thanks i think i Will and take a picture and then send it to him! Thank you that put a smile on my face for the first time in a long time. See :-)
Just nice to know its ok the way im doing it. Its hard being alone but so much better than being with him.

IneedAgoldenNickname Fri 29-Mar-13 09:26:55

I use mine to pay the bills. It's meant to be towards the everyday living costs of the children. My ex is the same though, he tells the boys it's their money and that I should spend it on them. Mind you, my Dad used to say the same to us 20 years ago!

Discogeek Fri 29-Mar-13 09:44:52

Maintenace is for anything that comes under a household bill - food, gas, electric, water, rent, wine, new shoes... wink

chickensaladagain Fri 29-Mar-13 09:56:30

Do your children not eat the food you buy then, or use the electric you pay for?

He is being an arse and what you spend the money is none of his business!

arabellafigg Fri 29-Mar-13 10:00:07

I used to get £20 a month when dd was tiny (I know) and I used to use that to buy her new clothes, shoes etc. Now I get a bit more, it just goes in the general pot. Generally when it goes in I get her things she needs, but she also has swimming lessons, drama classes, school dinners and then lets not talk about the cost of childcare while i work! It's for everyday living cost including bills and food, what a nob - ignore him completely and take the kids on holiday with it smile

Meglet Fri 29-Mar-13 10:09:25

It goes in the household budget, it's not separated in any way.

Although swimming / beavers / tennis and kids shoes probably eat up a fair chunk of it.

Rikalaily Fri 29-Mar-13 10:13:06

Hate knobs like that who try and find any excuse to lower thier contribution. It's none of his business what the money is spent on as long as his kids are fed, clothed, warm and educated. Don't discuss finances with him, it's got bugger all to do with him.

corlan Fri 29-Mar-13 10:31:30

I spend my £8 a week on crack cocaine and gigolos.

TomDudgeon Fri 29-Mar-13 12:20:49

Take a picture of blackness and tell him you're sending him a picture of their new clothes.
When he queries it tell him that his maintenance doesn't pay towards the electricity bill so the lights weren't on

kinkyfuckery Fri 29-Mar-13 14:08:06

It goes towards anything your DC need, personally (clothes, toys, activities, school dinners), or for the house (electric, rent, council tax etc).

I like to tell my ex the pittance he gives us each week barely keeps me in fags, never mind vodka too wink

devilcakes Fri 29-Mar-13 14:50:46

Thanks everyone, i love all the ideas especially all the wine and vodka! Will tell him to fuck off next time he tries to talk to me about it.

HerrenaHarridan Fri 29-Mar-13 21:14:44

Fuck off is a sufficient response you do not have to discuss it with him.

If you feel like being generous a flippant bills / rent / food.

shock To the pp who spends theirs on crack and gigolos, how on earth do you keep your dc in crack all week on £8 and have change for a gigolo?

PeppaFuckingPig Fri 29-Mar-13 21:19:05

My ex (who has only recently started paying maintenance via CSA after 18 months) once told me that when he did pay maintenance he would do so in the form of vouchers which could be redeemed in 'appropriate shops'...


corlan Sat 30-Mar-13 09:14:51

how on earth do you keep your dc in crack all week on £8 and have change for a gigolo

To be fair, the gigolo's on an internship so I'm not actually paying him at the moment. wink

IneedAgoldenNickname Sat 30-Mar-13 10:25:31

peppa my ex once told me he'd order me an online shop by way of maintenance! My friend couldn't see the problem, other than the fact that
A, he'd order everything value, while I eat some stuff from that range, bread, tea bags and coffee are a no.
B, how would he know what I needed that week?
C, I'm a fucking adult who can do get own bloody shopping!

Said friend doesn't get anything from her ex, so thinks I should just be grateful and doesn't see it as a control issue!

devilcakes Tue 16-Apr-13 10:12:55

Well after this thread started, we had a big fight about it and now he doesn't pay anything! I rang csa and got told that he doesn't have to pay anything as he's on benefits.

So its now just my money being spent on wine kids!

prettywhiteguitar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:34:04

God what a controlling arsehole ! I'm sorry, at least you don't have to answer to him ?

jacks365 Tue 16-Apr-13 19:03:08

Even on benefits he has to pay but its a token £5. Get the claim done though because otherwise it will slow things down when he does get a job. He is a total .......... add whatever derogatory term you feel like.

Yonihadtoask Tue 16-Apr-13 19:05:41

Jeez. Tell him you blow it on make up and gin.

In theory the NRP is supposed to contribute to 50% of the DC expenses.

Yeah, right. I'd love to see that amount of ££ appearing in my bank account each month. angry

LineRunner Tue 16-Apr-13 19:07:16

I agree that you should do the claim and get the reduced rate of at least £5 a week. The when he is forced to get a job, it is easier for the CSA to get you the correct basic rate.

Child support / maintenance is a contribution towards your DC's living costs, and that includes providing hot water, heating, food, and paying housing costs which gives them a roof over their heads.

Amilliondifferentpeople Tue 16-Apr-13 19:21:58


I thought it was 15% for one, 20% for 2?

My dc's father asked and I said "check out my diamond encrusted shoes in which I traipse round Aldi"

Tbf his girlfriend gets nothing from her ex. But I pointed out that makes him a dick... It doesn't make our children any less entitled.

skyebluesapphire Tue 16-Apr-13 19:28:14

Taken from the Child Maintenance Options website

Child maintenance is about providing help with a child’s everyday living costs. This includes things like food and clothes, and helping to provide a home for your child or children.

Below is taken from government website

What happens if I receive benefits?
If you are getting one of the following benefits, and you pay the
flat rate of £5 for child maintenance (no matter how many
children are involved), then the child maintenance will normally
be taken direct from those payments before they are paid to you.
• Income-related benefits – Income Support, income-based
Jobseeker’s Allowance or income-related Employment and
Support Allowance
• Contribution-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Contribution-based Employment and Support Allowance
• Pension Credit
• State Pension
• Incapacity Benefit
• Training Allowance
• Armed Forces Compensation Scheme Payments
• War Pension
• Bereavement Allowance.
If you have a partner and they get income-related benefits or
Pension Credit, the child maintenance will be taken before they
receive the benefit. This means you or your partner will receive
less in benefit.
If the child maintenance can’t be taken from your benefits
because other money is already being taken, you will need to
talk to us about making other arrangements to pay the child

so it looks like he should pay £5 a week.....

Amilliondifferentpeople Tue 16-Apr-13 19:57:49

Wow. Lucky op hmm. Whatever will you do with your wealth???

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