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Changing school - agreement of other parent?

(15 Posts)
neva Thu 21-Mar-13 21:18:28

Does anyone have experience of obtaining consent of ex to a change of school?

I need to move to improve financial security for me and dd. Have a lovely town in mind and a fantastic school. Dd isn't keen (understandably) but I know she will adapt and ultimately this will broaden her horizons and she will be better off for it. This town isn't a million miles from where I live now. Dd will see her dad as now, the journey will just be a bit longer and I am prepared to pay for transport.

Talking to ex is impossible, unfortunately. As dd is not enthusing about the move, he may object... If anyone has experience of this, how did you deal with it?

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 21-Mar-13 22:54:39

I am currently trying to engage in this discussion for different reasons, but every time ExH e-mails about the words that appear look more like they are OWs. I am attempting mediation if this fails I am so certain that moving her is the right thing that I will go to court.

Tewa Fri 22-Mar-13 09:09:26

If he has PR you have a legal obligation to consult him and you shouldn't act unilaterally. Even if he doesn't his dd is still his child as much as yours and in the interests of working together with her other parent you should still try to do so.

You also say you're moving for financial reasons but you say your ex will object to his daughter being moved away from him and your daughter doesn't want to go. If I were to play devil's advocate I'd say `So you're saying your financial situation is more important than your daughter's routine, stability, friends, paternal family and education'.

As Lonecatwithkitten is doing try mediation. Or at the very least emailing him something constructive, putting in child-focused reasons why it is your dd's best interests to change schools.

Sorry to be negative here, but every decision you should make should be with you dd's best interests foremost.

purpleroses Fri 22-Mar-13 10:19:35

How old is your DD? If she and ex opposed the move, could she realistically go to live with him instead? If not, I think legally you can move if you want to as long as you're not changing country.

kittycat68 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:23:43

if you are changing schools, and if ex objects the key point at court is likely to be the ofstesd report! if you can prove that you are going to be sending dd to a BETTER school you will be okay and he will look like an idiot for taking to court in the first place.

blackeyedsusan Sat 23-Mar-13 22:52:49

financial security is important too.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 23-Mar-13 23:00:59

If she lives with you I think you move her and he has to apply for a stop order? Which he is unlikely to get as his contact won't be affected. I am sure that is what my DS was advised, but I may have it wrong.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 23-Mar-13 23:03:06

You dont need mediation for this surely, what would be the point? It is an either/or decision, there is no middle ground. Eventually you have to decide either to move or not.

mumandboys123 Sun 24-Mar-13 15:44:58

how is moving to a nearby town going to improve your financial security?

balia Sun 24-Mar-13 18:36:05

How old is she? If he does decide to go to court (is that likely to happen, do you think?) the older she is, the more important her point of view. As I understand it, you would have to argue the move was not just better for her, but of enough value to offset the negatives involved in moving (distance from friends, wider family, routine, Dad not able to be logistically as involved with life etc).

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 24-Mar-13 22:43:24

Yellow I have excellent legal advice that if both parents have PR one parent can not unilaterally make a change of school. Both parents should be in agreement, if not then you should go to mediation if this fails then proceed to court. A very dim view is taken in court if mediation has not been tried I understand. If we don't go to court and are at a stalemate the status quo has to continue.
Ofstead or other inspection reports are not alone sufficient you have to show that there would be sufficient benefit to the child to warrant the move.
My case involves private school for which I pay the school fees. I feel that DD would benefit from a move to a different private school firstly because OW's DD who has been bullying my DD is in her class at school. Secondly because I feel that DD is not being stretched enough at her current school.
I have had to obtain evidence to back myself up on both points which I have. However, it is very cosy for ExH as he can pick both girls up at the same time and DD can be asked to search for OW's DD's things which have got lost.
The same advice has come from my solicitor and my Dad who has just retired as a senior family court JP.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sun 24-Mar-13 22:53:07

Happy to defer to your experience here!

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sun 24-Mar-13 23:18:25

I checked tho and the advice given was as I said, but maybe there was something fundamentally different going on inthe case that led to this advice.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 24-Mar-13 23:48:51

Has maybe things changed? This advice as of this month. In my case ExH is opposed to it it seems as OW has said we shouldn't do it and I should just be happy DD is doing so well.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sun 24-Mar-13 23:52:32

This is older advice, move all done, maybe the new changes recently are what is different.

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