Ex stalling DNA test.(3 Posts)
My ex is very controlling and has never shown much interest in DS. He demanded overnights at a week old, the second time of seeing him, and kicked up a big fuss that he wasn't being allowed to "show him off enough" (overnights didn't happen) but other than that has had very sporadic contact. He won't set days, and contact is very much "as and when" he turns up.
As far as I am aware, he has no actual concerns over DNA, but at 8m/o he decided he wanted testing doing. I said that was fine, but DS is now 11 m/o, and he keeps stalling having it done.
I have organised 3 different appointments for him as he kept saying he couldn't get it organised and it was taking to much of his time to sort, but he has cancelled each one last minute.
I asked if he still wanted it done, but he is insisting he does.
I am just wondering if this could be used by him to say "I didn't know he was mine so that's why I didn't see him regularly/consistently, but now I want him overnight" to get a court order without having to bother putting time in to get to know him first?
Would this excuse his lack of contact, or would the fact that its him stalling the test mean that he would still be expected to build up contact after? He is on the birth certificate so has parental responsibility.
It won't wash in short. If he is serious about wanting the results of a DNA test he should make the effort. Quite honestly if he is that bothered he should have organised them.
Coupled with the unreliability you mention he isn't going to get very far.
I recommend you keep a diary of what is going on - when he is supposed to come for contact and doesn't show, when he was supposed to attend the DNA tests and didn't bother.
If he sorts himself out and wants to build up contact at some point he will do this, but it would require effort from him and he really isn't doing himself any favours.
Quite agree with Tewa. The court is concerned with the welfare of the child. His lack of consistency counts against him. You must however document everything so you have s record just in case it ever goes to court. However, unless he would do it as a litigant in person the costs are prohibitive and if he can't organise himself to get to a dna appt then it seems unlikely he will organise himself to make an application to the court. It sounds like lazy threats because he knows it will press your buttons. Don't engage. If he wants a dna test let him organise it. (And pay for it!)
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