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should I make my dds see their dad??

(5 Posts)
emmameghan Sat 09-Mar-13 09:22:08

First time on here .... I have been divorced for approx 7 years. My ex only sees dds when it suits ie every wednesday night (great!!) 1 sat night a month if i'm lucky and occasionally during the day on a sat or sun. My dds have got to the stage where they dont want to see him during the day, theyd rather see friends etc than sit at his watching sky! They are 12 and 14. They are supposed to be seeing him today neither wants to go, shld I make them or tell him its cancelled, he will have to see them another time? My gut feeling is to tell him to forget it, what should I do?

HeySoulSister Sat 09-Mar-13 09:25:58

Tell him why... Then leave it to them. They are old enough to do as they like, but I would tell him the reasons

betterthanever Sat 09-Mar-13 19:11:21

How did it go? I think contact is not for contacts sake, it is about the DC's having a relationship with parents and that is between them. It isn't about you being lucky he sees them or not (that's not ment as a slight on you) it is again about the benefit to the children. If they can they should tell him they don't want to go/have other plans etc. and if he asks you about it you can say he needs to deal with the reasons they don't want to go.

emmameghan Sat 09-Mar-13 19:38:15

My older dd did try to ring him, but he didnt answer so I text him explaining they had other plans and would he like to see them tomorrow instead, he just said leave it then and he was too busy to see them tomorrow! I have always tried to encourage them to see him, as he doesnt see them that much and I thought I was helping to keep a ralationship going between them, but now I just think if he cant be bothered its his loss.

PirateHat Sat 09-Mar-13 21:51:47

I think you have done the right thing trying to encourage them in the past. But they are nearly both teenagers when friends become much more important and they are also able to make decisions about how they spend their time. I'd encourage them to make the arrangemnets with him though so it doesn't seem like your decision.

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