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No personal life :(

(16 Posts)
lizzie479 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:21:27

Thats it really. Five months into being a single mum and I miss having a sex life. I have loads of lovely friends but am worried that I am going to turn itno a nun and I have only just begun! Will this feeling end?

SuperGlumFairy Mon 25-Feb-13 10:19:49

I'll join you in the misery, no sex life, no love life and no social life at all. Kids never go to their Dad's despite him living just 20 minutes away, they don't want to see him and he doesn't care to try to change that. I'm in a new country so only just starting to make friends and I am pretty sure I am never gong to meet a bloke sitting at home in the evenings watching kids Tv shows sigh
Still...being single is better than being with my STBXH and the kids will grow up and leave home one day right ;)

Meglet Mon 25-Feb-13 13:58:16

4yrs here. My life has to revolve around work and the DC's so even a meal with friends is a very rare event, I went out once last year.

I get to the gym a couple of times a week for the odd hour in the daytime but that's it. The kids are here every night (we don't see XP) so there simply isn't a chance of being able to meet anyone.

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 25-Feb-13 13:59:07

I found that after a while I was totally 'meh' about sex. I didn't miss it, or want it particularly.

But yes totally better off without them waster exs! Who needs men?!

<tries to convince herself that she is happy being single>

SuperGlumFairy Mon 25-Feb-13 14:16:32

I am definitely happier single, I don't want a relationship (been separated 13 months now but it's been a hell of an emotional rollercoaster year) I know I am not ready for one and I don't feel I need a man for any purpose other than sex to be honest. A kiss and hug once in a while would just be nice. I am growing in confidence to make my own decisions, like doing what I like when I like with the kids and having my own space too much to give that up at this point.
Socially I just need to give it more time as it's a new place so only just starting to meet people and get chatting. I just wish i could head to the pub once in a while on a Fri/ Sat night to meet more people in the area.

Ghostsgowoooh Mon 25-Feb-13 21:15:33

same here, the kids have a better social life than me.

duffybeatmetoit Mon 25-Feb-13 21:44:34

What Superglum said. I just don't want a bloke in my life after the traumas that stbxh put me through.

queenofthepirates Mon 25-Feb-13 21:49:56

Would a 'friends with benefits' be a bad idea?

That kind of means, I don't think it would be a bad idea!

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 25-Feb-13 22:10:29

I know what you mean superglum, chance to go out would be great.

That said, I'll find it hard to trust anyone again!

SuperGlumFairy Mon 25-Feb-13 22:21:24

A friend with benefits would be great, but am still unlikely to find one sitting at home.
Absolute truth, I can't even remember the last time I went out with friends of an evening....or daytime for that matter. Easily 18 months I think it would be.

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 25-Feb-13 23:09:30

Do you have other single parent friends nearby that you could take it in turns to have eachothers children? Unless you wanted to go out with said friends that is?

HerrenaHarridan Tue 26-Feb-13 10:08:48

Honestly ladies, you should never be reliant on another for your sexual happiness single or other wise.

treat yourself

Lonely it may be sometimes but constantly looking for a man won't get you one. Revel in your independence and pleasure yourself in the the long evenings wink

lizzie479 Tue 26-Feb-13 16:54:35

friend with benefits sounds great! Now where to find one? I do go out as its important to. Even if money and time are in short supply I don't believe in martyring myself for the children and they certainly won't thank me for ti in the future!
I find the idea of a battery operated friend really sad. I don't mean the people that use them are sad, just the idea of it. Sex is about so much more than reaching an orgasm.
I will just have to wait patiently I guess and keep going out and doing the things I enjoy.
Sometimes it makes me wonder why I asked my ex to leave (he used to shout at me regularly so I showed him the door now he has moved on, found someone and seems happy) I look 10 years older from the strain of raising our kids alone with very little money.....I'm not exactly winning ;)

HerrenaHarridan Wed 27-Feb-13 19:08:37

You really find the idea of self pleasure sad! shock

Surely being reliant on someone else for your fulfilment is err... Well I don't want to be as offensive as you were so I won't finish that sentence.

Personally I think it's important for an individual to explore their own body intimately both for their own independence and fulfilment and to enable them to guide their partners learning.

It doesn't have to be a quick shameful rub.

Sex and masturbation are separate ( though they go quite the thing together wink)
Masturbation is about being in charge of your sexuality, learning what works for you and exploring your personal sexuality.
Sex is about your partner, it's about bonding and pleasure.

Also vibrators aren't only for solo play!

InNeedOfBrandy Wed 27-Feb-13 19:24:24

A friend with benefits is basically the same as a DIY job but taking pot luck on your orgasm and being used. If you can't separate sexual satisfaction from feelings or wanting feelings a friend with benefits isn't for you.

And if your wondering about your ex it seems that your lonely and getting desperate now. Learn to love yourself all of yourself and be happy on your own. Part of that is taking responsibility for your own pleasure.

Don't rely on a man to sort your life out and maintain your socialness (if thats a word) nothing wrong with you taking the dc out to eat with friends once a week (friday night) so your getting out and seeing friends or planning a decent weekend.

ProphetOfDoom Wed 27-Feb-13 19:48:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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