Advanced search

I hate feeling like this.

(5 Posts)
IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 18-Feb-13 18:34:03

I have 2 wonderful sons, 8 and 6. Their dad left me in Nov 09, and 6 weeks later they meet his new gf. They got engaged and moved in together, but split up early 2011

Then we decided to give things another go, and started dating again in August 11. We separated again in may 12 as we wanted different things. For example I wanted more children, he didn't. I want to do to uni and get a career, he thought I should just 'get a job in Tesco' in July/August he was telling me he wants me back I if I change, I ignored him.

Then in sept he meet his new gf, introduced the boys to her straight away, got engaged in October and she was pregnant by Nov. Now while I don't think the children should dictate who you do or don't have a relationship with, the boys (DS1 especially) have struggled with how fast it has all happened, and the fact that they never see him on his own anymore.

Then I found out that her children call him daddy, and that he tells people he has 4 children. I can't explain why, but this really hurts me as he doesn't have 4, he has 2. But then again, if I ever meet anyone else I'd like to know that he considered my children so important.

I don't know of that makes sense, our even why I'm posting, but I need to get the feelings off my chest.

lowercase Mon 18-Feb-13 19:14:33

I guess there was part of you hoping he would step up?

I have been through similar, what helped me was to accept that he was never going to parent the way I thought he should.
He doesn't have the ability / skills / integrity.

All you can do is keep your side of the street clean, be fair, be consistent, don't put the other parent down.
Speak honestly to the children ' It's just how it is for now...' Try and help them to accept it.

I think it will probably go wrong soon, and he will want to come back to you, fgs, don't get back with him.

Start to create a life you love to live, and keep being true to yourself.

IneedAgoldenNickname Mon 18-Feb-13 19:25:58

Thanks, and don't worry no way I'll get back with him again!

HerrenaHarridan Tue 19-Feb-13 11:48:25

Op I don't think your feelings are unreasonable. You feel he is devaluing his own children by taking on someone else's so quickly

I think you would feel differently if they had been together a long time and your kids were ready to accept them as sibling as opposed to the new flings kids who see more of him than they do

Your just watching out for them like a good mum should.
Vent away to us and smile and help them deal with it smile

Tbh I can't imagine introducing dd to a partner I had known for two months never mind allowing her to call him daddy so fwiw I think he's an inconsiderate selfish arse too!

IneedAgoldenNickname Tue 19-Feb-13 12:36:20


I'm now royally screwed as csa have told him he only has to pay me a fiver a week as he's responsible for her children! How the hell am I meant to feed them on that ffs!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now