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Am I wrong?

(8 Posts)
Lonecatwithkitten Fri 25-Jan-13 16:28:40

Back Story. ExH left in July after having had affair, is having on off relationship with OW (she is still with her husband who knows!!!). She has DD in my DD's class who has physically and verbally bullied my DD (documented by school) they claim to not understand it.
ExH phones up and shouts at me on Christmas morning (he has DD for Christmas) because I don't have his tenants phone number and she hasn't paid the rent for 2 months.
So the school is doing a Dance Show in March which both girls are in over three nights in a small professional theatre. So yesterday I logged on to the theatre's website to discover that for each night there are only about 20 tickets left. I have booked mine. I felt that ExH and OW both have details of show and whilst I know neither of them will have looked at website as they are both as rubbish as each other, that I just am not going to contact him to say there are only a few tickets left. Now I know DD(9) will be very disappointed that her daddy will not get to see her dance. However, at some point I have to stop covering for him.
I was fine about it until today a friend said "oh that's really not in your nature to be like that".

relaxingathome Fri 25-Jan-13 17:51:22

You are not in the wrong, as long as he knows when the show is and has been given the information on how to obtain tickets. It is his responsibility to actually book a ticket for himself.

chocolatecakeystuff Fri 25-Jan-13 21:55:15

I understand how angry you must be with him. However you need to put dd first. You'll kick yourseld if he breaks her heart. Much as I HATE my ex & what he did to me. As far as dd is concerened even if I have to take the wrap her dad is a doting father.

Be the bigger person xx

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 25-Jan-13 23:09:42

We have all been told when and where the show is, so I just checked the website.
Up until now I have been the bigger person, but the yelling at me on Christmas Day was the final straw.

chocolatecakeystuff Fri 25-Jan-13 23:34:15

Fair enough, I guess you've always got to draw the line somewhere & he's got to start taking the wrap sometime x

NotaDisneyMum Sat 26-Jan-13 08:05:14

I think you're quite right - he's chosen to be a parent to your DD separately from you and it's up to him to work out how to do it.

If you keep covering, he'll never learn wink

Snorbs Sat 26-Jan-13 08:35:12

Tricky one. On balance and provided you're sure he would have been given info about the show then I'd say leave him to it.

He is a grown-up and perfectly capable of organising some tickets if needed.

LazyMachine Sat 26-Jan-13 08:52:44

It isn't really very nice to knowingly hold back information that might potentially upset your DD. Put her feelings first.

What about suggesting to DD that she could ask her DF of he's bought his ticket because they might sell out soon? This would keep yourself out of it and let it be more about their relationship. (I probably wouldn't suggest something like this if she were younger, as I don't think it's fair for parents to 'pass messages' through their DC, but she's 9 and it would have good intentions - it wouldn't be passive aggressive.)

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