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DC contact with abusive ex's parents

(9 Posts)
WhatDoesTheDogSay Wed 23-Jan-13 21:35:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

betterthanever Wed 23-Jan-13 21:59:55

This is a complex situation and similar to mine in that his Mum contacted me when my ds was born. I felt this was him trying to get contact by the back door, going unchecked as I had safe guarding issues.
I understand your desire to do what is best but if contact happens and then say.. you say they can see your DS with you there only and they then take you to court - they will have more rights as GP's as they have been having contact with DS IYGWIS. So I think you should base your decision presuming they will take your DS for contact away from you and you would struggle to have a say if that then meant your ex would have contact too. I can't really see it going any other way long term.

WhatDoesTheDogSay Wed 23-Jan-13 22:16:20

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betterthanever Wed 23-Jan-13 22:27:45

My ex left me when I was pregnant he came to see DS when he was first born and his Mum came once and was rude to be honest. She hadn't contacted me when I was pregnant either which she could of done. My ex was abusive and after an very abusive outburst in my house just days after my DS was born and him threatening all kinds I got a solicitor. My ex was never heard of again for 7 years... his mum sent me a sol. letter back a couple of months after DS was born and I declined contact with her as I saw it as ex seeing DS by the back door. I am currently involved in a court case as ex is back saying all kinds. Luckily the courts appear at this stage to be seeing through his lies. My worst nightmare has come true. Tread very carefully. Keep diaries and keep them for years (probably forever) - if you have an iphone keep copies of communications backed up. I wish there was that technology then but luckily I kept a diary and the sol. letters and other things which the court have been able to see. I have been astounded and the lies he has been willing to tell in court and his mum stood by his side.

WhatDoesTheDogSay Wed 23-Jan-13 22:42:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

betterthanever Wed 23-Jan-13 23:06:45

Good luck with everything. Do what is best for your DS and you.

WhatDoesTheDogSay Thu 24-Jan-13 13:30:22

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balia Thu 24-Jan-13 22:01:38

I think you should trust your instincts. No harm in meeting for coffee somewhere (so she doesn't know where you live) and a chat. You can establish some ground rules, have it on your terms. I'm a big fan or extended families (it takes a village to raise a child type thing) can't see what you have to lose and DS gains another adult to love him.

WhatDoesTheDogSay Fri 25-Jan-13 07:22:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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