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Should my bf stay over when kids are around?

(10 Posts)
gonenative Mon 21-Jan-13 22:12:32

Hi all

I posted this in AIBU too but thought some of you on this topic might have experience of this type of situation.....

I have been separated - amicably - from my ex husband since September 2011. He moved out at the beginning of last year. We have 2 kids together, aged 4 and 8. We are in the process of getting divorced.

I have been seeing someone since March last year, initially on a very casual basis, but over the last few months it has become more serious, and we are starting to plan a future together

He first met my kids in September, as a friend, and over the last couple of months we have hung out together a few times, and they get on really well.

My children spend 3/4 days per week with their dad, and the remaining days with me. At present both my boyfriend and I work away a lot, so there are occasions when the only time we can see each other is when I have the kids staying over.

Last weekend he stayed over on Saturday night, and we all hung out in the morning. The kids seemed happy and unfazed by it. I told my ex today as I thought it better they hear it from me than from the kids and he was I think a bit shocked.

What do you all think (please be gentle)?

Alexapestbum Tue 22-Jan-13 06:20:10

You're entitled to move on and find love. It's not as if you have just met this man and it sounds like you've taken you're time to introduce him slowly to your children to give them time to adjust and get to know him. I wouldn't worry especially if your children seemed unfazed and happy for him to be there over night.

acceptableinthe80s Tue 22-Jan-13 12:27:46

Sounds like you took your time with your bf and introduced him into your children's lives slowly. Your ex is overreacting/jealous!? it's not like you met him last month. Don't worry about it, your ex has no reason for concern.

Piemother Tue 22-Jan-13 21:31:32

Sounds like you took your time. If your kids are ok that's all that matters. Well done grin

samandkat Tue 22-Jan-13 21:41:43

I split with my bs dad then met someone new i waited for ds to react and i went on that if kids and bf get on then what is there to worry about and as for the ex ignore him your love life is nothing to do with him any more hope this helps

fieldfare Tue 22-Jan-13 21:44:33

Sounds like you took your time, the kids were comfy with him and you're entitled to be happy! Don't worry too much about it.

McPhee Tue 22-Jan-13 21:46:54

It sounds like you've done it all the best way possible to me. I only get concerned when lots of men come/go out of childrens lives. But, I really hope you'll all be happy smile

VBisme Tue 22-Jan-13 21:50:23

That sounds absolutely fine. It's only when bf are being introduced and then leaving that it would create an issue.

I think your ex might have been more shocked by the fact you're moving on than the impact it might have on the kids.

wiseoldowl Wed 23-Jan-13 20:53:41

I think this sounds fine. You have taken your time, both for yourself & for DC and it seems like all is good.
STBXH would appear to be shocked that he is no longer your number one....well good for you!

Mimishimi Thu 24-Jan-13 05:13:48

You sound like you are being cautious about it, not flippant, so good for you. However, if I were in your place, I probably would not have told my ex until the divorce was finalised.

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