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seperating and scared of becoming a single parent

(5 Posts)
stephlj28 Mon 21-Jan-13 16:24:35

hi there,

my partner and I have a 18month old and have been together just over 5years.
unfortunately we are now currently seperating.
I cant help feeling there is more out there.
my partner and I have hit a terrible rut. we come home, talk a little watch tv in silence then he goes to bed early.
I also feel very lonely as he spends 2-3 nights a week at friends houses and doesnt get home until late at night.
the reason for our break up was down to me. as I couldnt take it anymore.
I am worried I am being selfish and giving up to easily. am I breaking up our family for the wrong reasons.
we are both 24 but I feel old. and I want to focus on our daughter and being happy. advice would be amazing as I am now a single parent! however my partner is amazing with our daughter so that wont change.
the sad thing is a I do love him, but just seem to have grown apart. thanks for smile

GemsAngels Mon 21-Jan-13 17:36:59

Its so easy for two people to fall into this rut, its quite common I think. I did!
The thing is I think people do sometimes give up too easily, but it works both ways, you both have to work at where you feel it is going wrong. If you have made your decision then of course its going to be a little scary, the unknown always is, but it will soon become a way of life for you and your little one and like you say he is a good dad. Life changes, you meet new people.
Its not for me to say if its the right decision but I do advise try everything possible if you still love him. Could you maybe try couples councelling?

PignutSalamander Mon 21-Jan-13 22:13:14

Only you know if your doing the right thing.
When I split with ex I told him that "this is not about being with anyone else and I will be leaving the door open for us to fix thing, the way things have been , that is over. Maybe we can make a different future given time, space and attention"
Could something like that be an option?

stephlj28 Tue 22-Jan-13 10:35:49

we have had this same discussion a few times in the last 6 months.
I could advice couples counciling but I know he would juat laugh at me.
I am very mature for my age. have worked since I was 13 ans had to take care of myself from then. whereas he has had a lot of things handed to him on a plate. I work because I want nice things and I want to build ab amazing life for our daughter. wheresas he works cause he has to. I would love us to stay together and be happy. but all the time he is away and I am alone, arnt I doing it on my own anyway? please help as we discussed options last night and he will still be living here until her can find somewhere to go. I hoping we will sort something before it comes to that confused

Fizzerly17 Sun 27-Jan-13 13:10:06

I was in exactly the same position. Myself and my baby's dad split up in September last year and even now I miss him every day. Just make sure it's the right thing for you before you make any huge decisions. You dnt want to be in my shoes. Good luck with whatever you chose smile xxx

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