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(14 Posts)
Jellykat Sun 20-Jan-13 15:25:59

Awww you're welcome!
I'm always about on here.. you're doing great, but if you wobble just shout.. smile

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Sun 20-Jan-13 14:41:42

Jellykat, thank you for talking sense into. It means so so much!

Jellykat Sun 20-Jan-13 14:40:00

Thats good re. the MNer meet up and convos, online support is valuable and sometimes more immediate then RL, even if its not face to face..

As Glitch says, try not to look too far into the future, it can be a scarey place and who knows whats around the corner...
Brilliant that you're got on the access course, well done! you obviously know what direction you'd like to head, and that's such a positive!

You're doing all the right things from where i'm sitting, and you're obviously stronger then you give yourself credit for, you should be so proud of yourself!

For now, getting some decent sleep and treating yourself to things to lift your spirits are a priority.. we all have real down times, it's not a weakness, especially at this time of year when its cold and dark - cabin fever sets in really quickly. In a way you've become a mum at the hardest time of the year, but by April hopefully something will turn up jobwise, and you'll be able to get out and about more, meet more people..

It will get easier i promise you, in the meantime keep posting if and when you need to smile

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Sun 20-Jan-13 12:54:49

Well my parents are here with me but its so lonely and to be blunt they are t very good with DD.
no friends here really either.
Just money, relationships, housing etc.
I just got on a access course in health proffesions in sept but I need a job for when my maternity ends in April hopefully one to support my course, as I want to go into nursing

Piemother Sun 20-Jan-13 11:42:47

Can you be more specific? What's scary about the future? Parenting? Money? Career? Just being single?
Would like to help xx

Also have a look at my single parent success thread be ause with a bit of luck you will be winning with the rest of us in no time grin

glitch Sun 20-Jan-13 11:27:54

Try not to look to far into the future and take each day as it comes.
You are doing amazingly well in getting out to your surestart centre and planning a MN meet.
How close do you live to your family? Could they help in giving you some respite from DD? All day every day is hard going.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Sun 20-Jan-13 04:52:48

I'm just scared of the future.

I was meeting a MNetter Friday but due to the snow were rescheduling. She's not too local but we have emailed for over six months!

Jellykat Sun 20-Jan-13 00:34:37

N.B Can you tell us what you feel scared about?

Jellykat Sun 20-Jan-13 00:33:17

Being tired really doesn't help.. Can you nap when she does, and bugger the housework.

Well done for trying with the other mums in your area! Just had a thought - have you checked out MN local for your area? i've recently started nattering ( via PM) to another mum in my area (roughly) and we're planning to meet up soon.

The family thing is quite common i'm afraid, unless you've done the lone parent thing its quite difficult to comprehend how lonely and intense it is.
Any chance family can have DD for a bit, so you can relax a bit and catch up on sleep?

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Sun 20-Jan-13 00:16:26

Hi, I've previously been treated for PND so I'm on medication. I think I'm very tired too.
My DD is with me all the time, this week it is 4 month sleep regression and teething.
I like going to get her weighed my surestart centre is great.
The downside is I live in a very small community and I look very young for my age. The mothers in my area are very very judgemental! I do kerp trying though!
I'm going to look into gingerbread.
It's just horrible. I can't remember when Iaat had a cuddle.
My family think I'm ungrateful for DD. it isn't that way at all. I'm scared, lonely and tired. They seem to think 'having a lovely baby' means I should be doing a merry dance constantly!

DoubleYew Sat 19-Jan-13 21:45:31

Well done for making it through another day. Just that can be hard sometimes!

If no-one is making any offers, you have to make some yourself. I find this really hard but other mothers will be looking for friends to do baby things with too. Go to baby groups or library sessions and chat to someone (how old is your baby? What is their name? Some crap about sleeping / feeding etc). Good bet is someone who isn't talking to anyone else. Then you can build up to ask if they want to go for a coffee, go to each others houses etc.

I found the first few months really dull as babies don't do anything much. But soon she will be grabbing things, sitting, rolling, crawling, walking, talking - its an amazing year coming up. Soon she will be old enough to take to soft play which is another good way to chat to other parents. My ds is 2.5yrs and is just getting more and more interesting and fun.

Do you want to talk about what happened this week?

glitch Sat 19-Jan-13 21:06:49

Hi Makeitup,
Do you get any weekends alone or do you always have your DD? Just thinking you could join a walking club or something if you get time alone.
If not, can you get out for a walk to the shops or the library or feeding the ducks each day? Obviously tricky with the snow at the moment.
New mums are quite often lonely even when in relationships and most are looking for someone / anyone to talk to (well, I was anyway!)

Tomorrow, get out there, go somewhere, even if it is just to the shops or for a coffee.
It will get easier. x

Jellykat Sat 19-Jan-13 20:57:44

I can't leave you unanswered..
Although i was where you are a long time ago, still am really, but i've got used to it..
My first thought was PND, your DD is still very little, have you felt like this since having your DD, or is it mainly due to a crap week/ feeling knackered?

You've made it through another day, and i congratulate you, its really really hard, especially at this time of year too, its not like you can go out for a potter about.

How about trying to find other mums who are alone, is there a Gingerbread in your area? Weekends are soo hard when everyone else is all coupled up.
Can you give yourself something to look forward to, it sounds silly but even things like buying something online and looking forward to its arrival, is something.
Is there anything you can think of to do in the evenings.. being creative in some way? making things can give you a confidence boost and is a great way of taking your mind off things.

Am sending you hugs, you can get through it and it does get easier with time, even though that doesn't really help you at this moment in time.
Keep posting, theres lots of MN lone parents here, even though it's a bit quiet tonight, i'm always around!

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong Sat 19-Jan-13 20:15:30

So I'm in bed at 7.20 on a Saturday night again.
Had no offers of anything to do this weekend.
It's a good job 4mo DD is here really gives me a purpose.
I'm so lonely and I can't bear it. If I stay awake the tears will start and I don't feel they will stop after a very testing week.
I'm turning the light off, and sleeping because then that's another day done.
I can't think of one thing in the future I'm looking forward too but at least I've lasted another day.
Another day with no contact with another adult.

I do apologise, I need to get it out

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