Would really appreciate some help with this...
I'm single and have a 4 week old baby and split with the father whilst I was pregnant. This was my choice (have my reasons and happy to go into them if I need to. But I'll just say at the moment that he was very controlling). I also have an older child with a different father and contact is all sorted and goes very well.
Baby's father said whilst I was still pregnant that he wanted to see the baby 3 times a week and every other weekend. I refused and said that I didn't want to sort it out until the baby was born. He's seen the baby about once a week since birth (for an hour each time). Now he has it in his head that I've agreed to 3 times a week which I haven't. That would be really difficult for me because of juggling school runs and all the other stuff I do. I'm thinking about offering twice a week but he's insisting on 3 times. Baby is EBF.
Also, I don't want to put him on the bc. I honestly don't trust him enough and wouldn't put it past him to refuse to give the baby back at some point. I have physical and mental health problems and I can see him using this as an excuse. But I don't have anything concrete to base that on - I just know him (if that makes sense). As I understand it, if he's on the bc it'd be harder for me to get the baby back.
I honestly don't know what is reasonable in terms of contact and I realise my feelings might be clouding my judgement. As I said, 3 times a week is going to be very difficult for me (it'd be for an hour each time). A friend has suggested an hour and a half twice a week which might work but at the moment baby is feeding every 1.5-2 hrs so could be tricky. Contact is taking place in public so I can be nearby but not with them and I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable feeding in front of the father.
Could anyone give me some ideas on what is reasonable contact at this age please? And am I right in what I think about the bc? Can he take me to court to get put on it?
He's started threatening court action this evening anyway and I'm so scared. I can't get legal aid and can't afford a solicitor.
Sorry for the long post and TIA.
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8 replies
needsomehelppls · 04/01/2013 22:07
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