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New year New Beginnings!

(5 Posts)
chikichiki Tue 01-Jan-13 20:51:51

Hi everyone,

I am a 33 year old single mother to a 10 year old girl. I moved to Helsinki Finland with my ex 10 years ago, divorced when she was 2 but decided to stay here so they can be close. In the past 8 years as a single parent, it has been tough socially as it is not easy to meet people in this individualistic society. I have not manged to integrate sadly. My ex has since married and moved to another continent, oh well. I have dreamed of moving to the UK for a years but I am scared. I will still be alone with my daughter , much bigger place. I however feel it will be easier as I come from a British system background, education, culture etc. I always love it when I visit. I also have not given up on the idea of my daughter wearing a uniform to school. I have a degree in social services and work as a social worker in Helsinki.

I don't think my daughter has ever seen me happy. I have given my last 10 years to her, now I have to work on both of us. We are starting from scratch with a bit of savings. Anyone with any advice for me on where to start, best areas, possible support networks etc?? I also love this idea of house or flat sharing with a single parent.

Thanx and happy new year!

raenbow Tue 01-Jan-13 22:12:57

Hello Chiki, I have recently returned from living abroad for the last 6 years having separated from my husband, it's not easy but it has been a lot easier than I had imagined.
We came to stay with family initially , which has helped to start with but I guess if they hadn't been around we would have coped somehow. I used freecycle and freegle to get bits of furniture I had left behind ( sofa and chairs, dining chairs ) they were free.
My main issue was finding someone to rent me a house when I had no credit ratings in the UK , rental agencies would only let me rent if I could pay 6 months rent up front. Fortunately a family member has lent me that and now my Housing Benefit has kicked in and I pay them back every month.... when 6 months is up....well, not sure really will cross that bridge when I get there !smileFlat/ house share sounds like a great idea as you may not to be primary tenant.
One thing I would recommend before you leave Helsinki get a Certificate of Good Conduct from your local police force to prove you have no criminal convictions etc. it will help when you need to apply for your CRB Cert. ( which as a social worker I would imagine you will need) I am a teacher and didn't do this and now am unable to finalise mine until I get the paperwork sorted which would have been simpler if I was there than from here. Good luck!!

chikichiki Wed 02-Jan-13 18:51:54

Thank you very much Raenbow. I am very grateful for the response. Much inspired.

lizzie479 Wed 02-Jan-13 21:55:57

Hi there, you don't mention family/where you grew up. Did you grow up in the UK? Do you have family here? It sounds like you have a good job but feel a bit isolated. Is it really hard to intergrate in Helsinki? How does your daughter find life there? Maybe you could start by looking for a job in the UK? I know that Bristol/Somerset areas seem to be often looking for social workers, and its a nice friendly part of the world. Whatever you do you deserve to be happy and remember that your daughter needs you to be happy too. Its sometimes added pressure on us mums when we don't feel at our best. I am struggling with this too. Having just become a single mum how can I best make my life good so that me and kids are happy?

chikichiki Sat 30-Mar-13 08:11:51

Finally moving to the UK on the 1st September!

On that note, if there is anyone with a modern en suite double room for 2 private and reserved girls. My daughter is turning 11 and as I am informed, starting secondary school. It would be nice if the landlord would have similar aged children so my daughter does not feel too lonely. Finland is the only home she knows and is happy here so I expect the move to be difficult for her. We have no family there except one or two old uni chums so they will be no visitors. Ideally, we would like to rent for a couple of months whilst we get settled in. Somewhere close to good schools, shops and railway connections to London would be ideal.

Preferred areas would be Hertfordshire eg St. Albans or Kent. Please feel free to advise.

As an immigrant coming to the UK with the current discussions on immigration, my sincere apologies to everyone. I just think that career wise, I have better growth prospects that side having done some post grad studies there. Absolutely not for the benefits, we have even better ones this side. smile

Thank you.

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