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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

I'm not surprised, I'm angry and a tad upset.

13 replies

Pickles77 · 21/12/2012 16:54

Finally offered twunt a evening Saturday with DD. He can't he has his Xmas work doo at weatherspoons.
You know the job he doesn't like with the people he doesn't like.
Had no contact with him bar email so I have saved it.
No asking to see her her first Xmas, no presents, no card.
Nothing.
Nothing coming either.
I'm so angry I'm upset.

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angelelle · 21/12/2012 17:37

Oh pickles. I was about to start a similar thread so I won't hijack this one but long story short. Exp cut contact with us 7 weeks ago. I am pretty sure the reason was that I sent a photo of dd to his parents thus taking away some of his control. His reaction to this has been to refuse to answer text messages or asked about dd. He even wouldn't answer my text asking if it was him that gave my new number to family court for dna test (which I found out later that it was).

I am upset like you re no cards or pressies for her :( I am having quite a few weak moments where I want to send a photo of dd telling him how amazing she is but he doesn't deserve to see her and prob wouldn't do any good.

Sorry you are having problems with twunt. Seems like you have made an effort and he can't make it back. Just make sure you protect yourself and dd from hurt if you can.

Pm me if you want.

Hugs

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Pickles77 · 21/12/2012 17:38

Hugs back to you, it's so sad. Everytime I look at her I think why? How?
It'll be a great Christmas anyway xx

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DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 21/12/2012 18:09

Pickles, 18 years ago my DDs father cut contact. It was difficult and very upsetting. However, believe me she has survived and survived well and is now a wonderful gorgeous young adult.

You cannot make him have a relationship with your DD, and for your own sake you need to let him go, you will be ok and with you and your love and support your DD will be fine.

Move on from him now, hes an adult and it can only be his decision to be in your DDs life not yours. There will come a time when it would be difficult for him to walk into your DDs life, but thats his problem, he ultimately will lose out but you will end up with a lovely close relationship with her.

Ive read and followed your thread pickles and I really feel for you, but I am really looking forward to reading from you that you have moved on from him, much love to you and your DD this Christmas, enjoy it and cherish it as in an blink of an eye she`ll be a young woman too! x

Angelelle, you too xx

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Pickles77 · 21/12/2012 18:41

Thank you, just can't believe how someone can be so bloody callous.
It will be a perfect Christmas anyway x

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angelelle · 21/12/2012 18:47

Thank you. Her dad has my address, email and phone number so I have no need to Chase him and she deserves a dad who would walk over hot coals to see her yet I long to share with him all her milestones as I think she is so amazing.

Pickles one thing I know is time heals. We are all different and heal and let go at different paces, I know I do it very slowly. One day it will stop mattering. I promise. In the meantime hold on to truths. One of which is that in the longterm its his loss, whether he realises it or not. Another one is that you are doing an amazing job.

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BigW · 21/12/2012 22:16

Hi pickles, I posted on one of your threads a while ago. Just wanted to say that you are still doing a great job and the fact that you so want your little girl to have a relationship with her father is to your credit. But you can't make him want to and it is not your responsibility - it's his. I remember your previous posts though and how manipulative your ex is.

You'll have a wonderful first Christmas with your gorgeous baby and I hope 2013 sees all your dreams come true (and I hope he gets what he deserves, no more and no less!)

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Pickles77 · 22/12/2012 23:20

Thank you, fully prepared now. DD has far too many presents!!!
In a way I'm happy he seems to be walking away and loosing interest. On the other hand I'm sad for DD.
I'm also angry at anyone who wouldn't want to spend time snuggling my screechy, chuckling pfb

Actually I take that back as there isn't enough to go around.
It's all for me!!!!!

must remind myself of this at 2am as it appears we are early teething according to the GP

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PollyIndia · 24/12/2012 06:03

Hey pickles
I read some of the threads on here and I am pleased ex twunt doesn't want to be involved. I know that is selfish, but now I have my baby, I can't imagine having to share him. Obviously if ex does want to be involved in the future, I will try and make it work for my son's sake, but for now, i will just enjoy the time I have with him.
I know what you mean, it is sad, but you have her baby cuddles 100%. I hope you and baby pickles (and pickles dog) have a very happy first Christmas together xx

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xmasevebundle · 24/12/2012 07:42

How evil. A twunt isnt the word.

I am still waiting for a playmate my exp said he sent off 4 months ago? LOL!!! I doubt my ex will want contact, hes nos im quite fiesty . I see it as, ive done everything for my son, pregnant, sleepless nights,( DS pissing on me and my bed earlier) why should i let exp see him after all hes done? Which is fuck all.

I think all of us, should enjoy our little bundles at christmas and feel pity for there worthless fathers sperm doners.

I wish everyone a great christmas and new years with their DC!

xxx

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RandomMess · 24/12/2012 07:49

My eldest is nearly 16 her bio dad has never seen her, fought against me over maintenance etc. My dd is wonderful has lots of adults in her life she sees it as his loss not hers. I can honestly say if she chooses to find him I have no issue with it, I've never ran him down, she's made up her own mind about him and she is not impressed with the lack of maintenance at times (it wasn't me that told her!).

Try and accept it and get on with enjoying your lovely dc, the time flies by - I mean nearly 16 how did that happen!!!!

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Pickles77 · 24/12/2012 09:14

Awww guys thank you. Good to hear from you all have a very merry Xmas

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FlojoHoHoHo · 24/12/2012 09:16

Pickles I was in the same boat, that was 4 years ago now and I'm glad XP has disappeared, I have my doubts from time to time, but generally my DD wants for nothing and I don't have to share!

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Pickles77 · 24/12/2012 20:06

He's just called and asked to see her Boxing Day.
I said if he apologised to my parents he could see her here maybe. Apparently they need to grow up and put DDs welfare first.
He hasn't called for over a week as he dropped his phone in a puddle.

Bollocks.

This is by email btw