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Where are all the nice men

(117 Posts)
oscarthegrouch Mon 19-Nov-12 23:24:52

My friends all seem to have hit on lucky with their partners it's making me feel lonely!

Are there any nice men left? I never seem to meet any

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 21:16:50

Okay so I met one but I told him to delete me from his life as I was scared I would hurt him. My life is a bit messy and he was... too nice. confused

beujolais Thu 22-Nov-12 21:25:07

Yes you can't go forward if it doesn't feel right. It is awful being broken hearted so i don't think i can do that again! I do get naughty thoughts sometimes in random places like tescos and imagine kissing someone i see in the cheese aisle or wherever i happen to be, it briefly crossed my mind the other day funnily enough. Doesn't happen that often though.

GetAllTheThings Fri 23-Nov-12 10:49:36

I suppose some of this depends on what you think a nice man is.

I doubt 50 Shades would be such a hit if the male protagonist was an accountant from Slough who kept rabbits and was into bonzai trees. grin

Lookingatclouds Sat 24-Nov-12 18:38:58

I found a lovely man. I am into cosmic ordering and I wrote a list of what I wanted ... And got it! I kid you not. Give it a go!

Wankarella Sat 24-Nov-12 18:42:07

Really? I have heard of cosmic ordering, I may have to google it, where do you send your list and can you ask for much as you want ?

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Sat 24-Nov-12 18:44:35

Nice men? Isn't that an oxymoron?

oscarthegrouch Sat 24-Nov-12 22:43:12

This sounds intriguing.....

Wankarella Sun 25-Nov-12 15:13:38

I found one last night, bit too nice for me though....

Ghostsgowoooh Sun 25-Nov-12 18:31:52

I want to know too. Seriously I am fed up to the back teeth of being on my own. Every man I know is in a relationship and seriously loved up. There were loads of spare men years ago.

It's crap, mind you I never go to the right places to meet these men and I'm so not doing Internet dating. I'm a bit of a minger on photos I scare em off!

sponge31 Sun 25-Nov-12 20:35:56

nice men are like gold-dust and us women aren't stupid, if you find a golden one you keep em.
I've been on my own for 3 years now, had one bf for a while but then found out he was using internet dating sites whilst we were together...nice! Almost turned me into a man-hater...although even then I thought to myself 'I hate men...but I want one!!'
It's the lonelyness that is hardest to deal with. Sometimes I'm in the mood of being an indepentant women and think 'I don't need no man to be happy' and then the weekend arrives and all my friends are with their partners and it's just me and my DS's and I realise what I'm missing....I know it's getting to me now as I've started finding childrens TV presenters bloom!!

AmIthatScary Sun 25-Nov-12 20:50:27

I'm already starting to get down thinking about Christmas.

I am so, so sick of having no-one. Just sick of it sad

GetAllTheThings Mon 26-Nov-12 10:27:30

I think there's an equal problem, speaking as a man, in finding 'nice' women. If anyone finds one please let me know.

Ghostsgowoooh Mon 26-Nov-12 10:58:00

There's a lovely single dad living with his two little boys on my street. But as he's a friend of my ex it's a bit of a no go area sadly.

Sigh. The only highlight of the week is seeing my welsh teacher every wed evening who is lush but even he is in a sodding relationship. S'not fair

Wankarella Mon 26-Nov-12 11:12:13

sponge31 You could me be

I would like a nice man, but only at weekend please. I keep meeting men, liking them for a week then I get sick of them.....usually because after 1 or 2 dates they think it's time for sex... I quite like getting to know people before the sex thing.

I would like a man on a white horse please!

Or my Doctor, I like him, shame he is married, I had a dream about him last night, someone in my dream said he wasn't married I was delighted, then I woke up...hmm

The nice guy I met the other night was nice but he smokes weed, so... again, faulty!

digerd Mon 26-Nov-12 11:24:56

Or a Knight in Shining Armour, rescuing the damsel in distress from an evil dragon - all now obsolete, I,m sorry to say.

sponge31 Mon 26-Nov-12 12:31:44

Wankarella maybe we are similar but I don't keep meeting men sad I have no social life past about 5:00pm. I know what you mean about a man on a white horse...I'd like to be taken care of....instead of giving the care all the time, for someone to make me a cup of tea instead of always making my own. To have a conversation about adult topics and not pokemon or invisible friends....I think I'm going to give this cosmic ordering a shot!!!

GetAllTheThings Mon 26-Nov-12 13:28:14

I think the problems are as follows :

When younger and child free there is obviously a large pool of potential partners, giving a decent chance of meeting one who is a 'nice' man / woman.

As you get older the nice ones will have become involved in relationships, married and very likely had a family so they are then out of the running.

Leaving all the dysfunctional ones with a few nice ones who have slipped through the net, and some who've been burned in some way and become more sceptical / guarded.

And all the while these 'nice' ones have grown older and become more set in their ways. Perhaps more cynical.

So naturally the balance between 'nice' ones and not-nice ones is unbalanced. And then you'd need to know where the few nice ones are likely to be hiding, and also whether they'd consider you equally nice or whether they'd actually want a relationship. And of course you'd likely want to find one who'd nice and fanciable and of course solvent.

And of course if they knew you were looking for a 'knight in shinning armour' they'd likely run a mile.

There are dating sites for single parents, or so I've heard, and I'd imagine there's a better chance of finding a compatible 'nice' man there. Outside of there I think there are social activities that are likely to be attractive to nice men. for instance I can't image too many non-nice man volunteering with the Woodland Trust.

The one thing that's 100% certain is that if you don't get out there, where ever there is, you won't meet any nice men.

And lastly, you know there are men on this forum, both single dads, married dads, and NRPs, we're all trying to do our best, and hearing 'nice men that's an oxymoron isn't it' is incredibly insulting.

sponge31 Mon 26-Nov-12 13:53:40

What a good point getallthethings reading this thread I've been thinking about it dating/relationships alot.
Your point about social activities is good one, whilst opening up the oppourtunity of meeting a possible partner you also contribrute to your own life and well-being and therefore make yourself more desirable/attractive at the same time.
I do alot of moping about from time to time but when I kick myself up the arse and 'get out there' I feel alot better about me and attract people, not partners but friends and support from the locals.
I don't think internet dating is the way to go. You lose something in not being actually there with someone, and it's too easy for people to spin you a yarn.

GetAllTheThings Mon 26-Nov-12 14:09:25

Indeed Sponge. I occasionally have a peek at the dating threads, I know women who've been there, and despite the odd who's met their DP / DH there, it just seems like a huge amount of effort for a depressing cycle of disappointment on the whole, peppered with rather inappropriate photos of man bits and BS.

You really do need to feel good about yourself, and in my opinion the very best place to recharge both physically and mentally is out in nature. And that is one of the natural habitats of the lesser spotted 'nice man'

Without doubt ( for me at least ) take a very good looking moppy woman and an average looking happy one, the latter is far, far more attractive. A genuine smile from the heart is incredibly attractive, especially if you're out in a blue belle wood or looking for shells on a sea shore smile

IWuvOneDirectionsXmasSong Mon 26-Nov-12 14:16:37

I don't want a knight in shining amour... I would just like a man on a white horse please, sorry I must stop being silly, what I am saying it I AM ASKING FOR SOMETHING THAT IS NOT THERE.... That better?

I realise i need to lose the sarcasm somewhere.....

I have zero social life either, 2 children take care of that for me, I do get a night off most weekend and have tried 'dating sites' most likely my reason for not finding nice men, those place ime are full of people looking for sex!

Again maybe it is me, someone suggested putting up pictures of me first thing in the morning on a Worzel Gummage hair day with a few spots, then men may see past the blonde hair etc and like me for me and not me for my looks = sex.

I am naive I thought 'would you like to watch a DVD together meant, watching a movie on a disc with maybe a little cuddle, it doesn't DVD = sex. hmm

IWuvOneDirectionsXmasSong Mon 26-Nov-12 14:17:25

Oh I am not stunning or anything, I think the dating sites I go on must be full of very unattractive people and I attract everything sex addict out there...

IWuvOneDirectionsXmasSong Mon 26-Nov-12 14:17:59

Sorry - Wankarella here, I lost my rude name. smile

I think I am just going to stay single. It's much easier.

Plus in January I will have 4 children.

Possibly it won't only be choice that keeps me single.

NotWankinginaWinterWonderland Mon 26-Nov-12 14:41:53

Ditto, my life is too messy for a man right now, he would run, I am sure....

Sorry Wankarella again, having another identity crisis

ankh Mon 26-Nov-12 17:15:19

@avenueone so has anyone started that dating thread? I'm in! smile

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