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No birthday card for littlest D'S

(9 Posts)
MatureUniStudent Fri 16-Nov-12 22:38:40

Seems his father has forgotten his birthday. DS hasn't said anything but his older siblings have asked if their Dad remembered their brother's birthday. Thought about emailing him a reminder but as he doesn't see the children any way, I've decided there is no point. So, sharing with you all as I feel so sad for my lovely DS as he will work it out at some stage. Think I should be bright and breezy about it?

Nuttyfilly Fri 16-Nov-12 22:42:37

Snap! My sons dad never see's his son, he ran of to America, he forgot his sons birthday. He forgets Christmas to. Don't mention anything about it, I find if I don't bring subject up it tends to go un noticed.
He also got a very sharp tongued email from me.

MrsTomHardy Fri 16-Nov-12 22:44:35

Ah poor ds sad

My 2 eldest haven't heard a thing from their dad in 10 years!!! They are 13 and 15 now sad his loss tho.....his choice too!!!

MatureUniStudent Fri 16-Nov-12 22:47:11

Mine lives down the road sad I don't often allow myself to feel sorry about his determined dismissal of his children, but I am so proud of my DS today, it makes it painful he just couldn't think of my DS on his birthday.

MakeItALarge Fri 16-Nov-12 23:07:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

B1ueberryS0rbet Sun 18-Nov-12 09:34:31

I think they grow up accepting that in their house, in their life, father is peripheral. Maybe some other children's fathers live in their house and are all daddy-daddy to them, but I think (maybe I'm fooling myself) that my children accept that there is a kind of uncle-like character who shows up every now and then and in their world the label for that it 'dad'.

Does your x pay maintenance? maybe you could say that to the child as he grows up. Plenty don't send maintenance and then do send a tub of playdough.

seaofyou Sun 18-Nov-12 11:37:36

I was lucky ds never had anything from his df after his 2nd birthday so he is used to not having anything...that is where I end up going OTT to be 'both' parents. I do same as Nutty don't mention the word 'df' because there isn't one!

Much worse for your ds who has been let down though sad
Good job ds got a fab mum smile

MatureUniStudent Mon 19-Nov-12 19:02:34

thank you all for your insightful comments - little DS still hasnt said a word and I asked his older siblings and he hasnt spoken to them. So I guess he isnt worried about his dad forgetting his birthday so I am wasting my emotions being sad for him. Being optimistic - lets hope he remembers his four DC's at Christmas!

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 20:22:35

Ditto here, I actually tried to make up for the lack of cards etc and sent some fake ones from Moonpig, it just confused matters, my ex done it to spite me, if we were speaking the boys received a card/gift, if I didn't contact him they got nothing.

I have sopped trying to make things better via pretend cards as my eldest knows I like Moonpig. He also knows his father is a ........ ex father. hmm

I never put the dad down, if the boys do I back it up with, 'yes but this is because xyz' I never want my children o grow up thinking 'oh mum made me hate dad' I do detest the man though.

Mostly because of the way he treats his children.

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