Why you are single!

[Jennyzmg]

My boy is only 5month old, his dad is a married man, he says will divorce in two years then marry me , but I don't believe it. He only see us during the week, using some lunch times. We were meet for lunch today at covent garden,( near his work) ,he was walking 3meters behind us which makes me really sad for the little boy.
I don't know what shall I tell him when he ask me, and I don't know how he would think about this.
Being his mistress for 8years now. I don't mind be alone, but since have got the little one, I don't know what is the best for him.
Any same situation single mums?

[GreenMonkies]

He's not going to divorce his wife, why should he when he has his cake and is eating it too. Get rid of him.

[ChocHobNob]

Your poor son. You need to do something about this before he is old enough to understand. Do you want him growing up thinking its ok to cheat and have children with married people?

[Jennyzmg]

Thanks for everyone, but I still don't know what is the best to do. I have been seeing a phych consluting , he suggests that because he is a bit rich, so I should try to get the most support from him rather then leave him, also, I wondering how old when the boy start to know what's going on? As I'm thinking to give hima deadline ( 2years?!)

[IneedAgoldenNickname]

Leave him and ring the csa. He's not going to leave his wife, if he was he would have by now.

In answer to your question? I'm single because my ex is a Dick, and I haven't met anyone else yet. Not that I particularly want to, my boys are enough. But if I meet someone that I click with, who knows!

[Happylander]

I am single because my Ex fucked off with someone else. Sorry but I can't agree with what you are doing and you are very very very naive if you think for one minute he is going to leave his wife for you. If have his child hasn't done it then nothing will.

Stop seeing someone else's husband and find your own man.

[ChocHobNob]

It doesn't matter when you finally kick this useless man to the kerb, the damage has already been done to your son. He will grow up knowing he is the product of an affair and that his birth caused a lot of upset and lies. His Father will not leave his wife. She may kick him out when she finds out, but even then I doubt he would be monogamous with you. Would you trust him?

I'm sorry but I cannot believe a psychologist would advise what you have said he has. He would be advising you to focus on your own self worth and happiness, which is getting out of this awful situation and getting on with your life. Your counsellor is not a lawyer who should be advising you on financial matters.

Leave this man. Organise child support. And leave him to deal with the consequences of when people find out he has been a pig for 8 years and has fathered a child out of marriage. (also prepare for dealing with the backlash yourself if you live anywhere near him or have any mutual acquaintances). What you are doing is truly awful, for everyone but especially your poor son who is probably going to grow up with issues to do with his conception

[purpleroses]

I think the question you more need to ask yourself is why you're not single? Being a single parent isn't all that bad. As suggested above, you can get some financial help from your DS's dad via the CSA. And you can get on with enjoying life with your DS.

In time, you might find a new partner who might become your DS's stepdad, which would be much better for him than a dad who won't acknowledge him. And much better for you too - a proper partner who deserves you.

But even if that doesn't happen, you'd be better off single.

[Jennyzmg]

Thanks for the suggestion of CSA, Im new to this country ( i just moved to here because the child, I don't know anything support for having a child) . I have gave him the two years deadline, but i really don't believe him will marry me, he is very rich, and his wife even richer, he pays everything at the moment while I full time look after the boy. So, Does everyone think I shouldn't tell the boy the truth when he is old enough to ask me? Also, does anyone knows if its easy to bring up a child on my own rather then having a part time parter? How much would cost to bring the boy to 18? Many thanks.

[superstarheartbreaker]

I don't think he loves either of you actually. At least he has absolutely no respect for the women or the child in his life. OP; dump him and look at why you are hanging around a married man. You deserve better and so does his wife.