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So angry with ex taking me for a mug

(5 Posts)
SkaffenAmtiskaw Fri 09-Nov-12 14:24:07

I need to vent so apologies in advance for the rant...

To be perfectly honest I have been a complete mug... Why do I still trust him to do the right thing? angry

Last Christmas I asked my ex if he would go halves with me to buy a present for our dd and he agreed. I bought the present, he said he couldn't pay me back his half straight away, he'd give it later. I said OK, that's fine, pay me back when you can, what else could I do really?

Nearly 12 months later, and despite repeated requests, he still hasn't paid me back. I am fuming. I just spoke to him on the phone, he is now saying not until January, that he can't afford to pay a wodge of money in one go like that, he's not paid enough, "woe is me", you get the idea.

The thing is, it's not like it's thousands of pounds, it's 70 quid! He could have paid me little by little, I didn't mind that. If he knew he couldn't pay me back, why agree to go halves? That's dishonest is it not? Especially as he seems to be able to afford holidays and weekends abroad... Also he seems to think that it's OK for me to pay £70 more than I had budgeted for because I earn more than him, so it's OK to rip me off then?

I have now threatened him with the small claims court if he doesn't pay up.

For his access visits I usually drive dd half-way. I am minded to say that I cannot afford to drive her tomorrow, what with the high price of petrol and people not paying back what they owe. I won't do it though, because it's dd that will be punished. sadangry

cestlavielife Fri 09-Nov-12 22:59:54

you have to let it go and live and learn, dont lend him money again... dont go hlves etc

SkaffenAmtiskaw Sat 10-Nov-12 13:03:50

Oh there's no risk of that, cestlavie! No more lending money, going halves, doing favours...

After I got really angry at him yesterday he's finally given me part of the money, which is good, not perfect, but hey. I'm going to assume I won't get the rest back. If I do, brilliant, if not, well, too bad. Chalk it down to experience...

queenofthepirates Sat 10-Nov-12 19:23:03

He's a silly arse isn't he? These kind of arrangements rely on a lot of good will and favours and it sounds as though he's taking you for granted. I'd suggest firmly but quietly asserting yourself with him and explaining that his well of favours is dry.

Alternatively borrow some money off him and never give it back (but that's naughty, good for the soul but naughty)

SkaffenAmtiskaw Sat 10-Nov-12 22:57:30

Yes queen, a silly arse. I'd even take out the "silly" bit! What really gets me is that I treat him like a decent human being, you know, with respect and trust, and expect him to treat me like one in return, but no, he can't do that. It's not the first time as you can imagine... But things had been going quite well for a while and we were on quite friendly terms, which is good for DD. And so I relaxed, put down my guard a bit: that was my mistake! But that's it now, no more Ms nice gal!

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