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I am struggling

(10 Posts)
Shockedandhurt Mon 05-Nov-12 19:37:31

I am 8 months pregnant. Its been a really shitty pregnancy; sickness, spd, depression. The father has effed off and been cruel to me. Everyone keeps asking me things like 'is babys dad spoiling you' etc etc.
I am just so tired and down. I dread labour i just dont know how i'll get through it all.

ThoughtsPlease Mon 05-Nov-12 20:09:57

I am sorry to hear this honey, you will get through it x

I was alone by the time DC3 was born, I went through labour on my own, it was fine, and actually probably better than the first two when I wasn't alone!

Practically have you got it all sorted how you think you want labour to be, so you can be clear with the midwives? I am convinced I was treated very well when I said I would be alone.

It will be ok, you will get through it all, and you will be strong. You may also be surprised how many people would and will admire you if they or when they know you are alone.


amarylisnightandday Mon 05-Nov-12 21:11:12

Hi op - I'm a week overdue with dd2 and alone. Left abisive marriage. Still her v annoyed when people ask about exh and well anything pg related - it is partly late pg as well as circumstance that gives me a short temper.

amarylisnightandday Mon 05-Nov-12 21:13:50

Do you have a birth partner? If not consider a doula. I too am dreading labour. The fact is, it is scary and painful bit we are women and we are string and we will get through it. Mine with dd1 was horrific bit a couple of months in your forget all about it - honestly you do. Also becoming a mum and realising I was instinctively quite good at it made me really strong - more so than anything else in life - I thi k it has this effect on a lot of women.
You can do this smile

ThoughtsPlease Mon 05-Nov-12 22:26:00

Labour isn't always horrific, you don't always need to forget about it!

Shockedandhurt Mon 05-Nov-12 23:01:57

Thanks for the replies. I know im probably just really hormonal but i just keep thinking 'why me?' it seems the world is full of happy families just now and then there is me on my own. I know this is a distorted view.
I hate my ex with more of a passion every day and i need to get over this. I dont want to be that bitter person.
My mum will be with me at the birth. I am just dreading it all.

datingthedevil Tue 06-Nov-12 00:31:26

Hi Shocked,

I could have written your post - I'm in an identical position and am 34+4 with spd etc.

My ex was abusive but I put up with it as I loved him and thought he would change. We split for many reasons but mainly because I didn't agree with lots of things he was dictating - I finally stood up for myself which he didn't like. He has since told his family and friends I used him to get pregnant and they want nothing to do with me or my little boy so he won't know half of his family and brothers and sisters. It's so incredibly sad.

I'm pleased you have your mum there for you when you have your little one.

Whereabouts are you based?

It's not long now until you will have your gorgeous baby, your SPD will start to get better and hopefully life will start to improve. I sending you lots of big virtual hugs xxxx

LasCanteras Wed 07-Nov-12 00:07:24

Hi everyone, I'm new to mumsnet and thank god I found this thread! I'm in the same situation, 38+6 and alone. I've been alone since I said the words 'I'm pregnant'. I had known the guy a long time but we hadn't been seeing eachother for a long time. I was living in Spain for 5 years so after deciding to keep the baby I had to leave my job, friends and the life I loved and move back to the UK and live with my Mum. I'm struggling to get my head around it all.

I also keep thinking, 'why me?' I have so many friends having babies right now, none of them alone. I still can't really believe this has happened. I wake up in the morning and I can't believe my life has changed so much, it takes me most of the day to feel ok about it and then the next day I wake up back at square one. People keep telling me to get lots of sleep...I haven't slept properly since I moved home in August.

To top it all, I miss the father. We've kept in contact since I got back but he says that once dd is born it'll be too hard. He hasn't told anyone in Spain, not even his parents, he just wants this all to disappear. In fact the contact is getting less and less by the day. I'm just hoping that when the baby's born I'll be too busy to think about things and I'll just focus on her.

What a mess, as much as I love my baby I just wish I had my old life back sometimes.

After finding this thread I don't feel so alone, so thank you all.

Shockedandhurt Wed 07-Nov-12 16:07:31

Las its hard not to feel alone in this situation. A few weeks from birth and im afraid i just cant summon the joy i should be feeling.

It just shouldnt be like this but it is so all we can do is be strong and remain dignified.

Best of luck to others in similar situations.

Shockedandhurt Wed 07-Nov-12 16:10:05

Dating you have given your baby the best ever gift by removing you both from an abusive environment.
I try and look to happy times in the future cos i do believe nothing stays bleak and dark forever. Best wishes.

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