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Feeling v grim about everything

(13 Posts)
crackcrackcrak Mon 29-Oct-12 22:26:28

My due date is tomorrow with dd2. I am separated with an injunction.
Exp is away working ATM and I feel desperate to get this baby out and have some bonding time before he comes back and the whole court circus starts again.

This is just shit now. I should be exited about the baby bit it's v hard now. Feels like a race against time that I can't control.
Exp is even more mental than in the past and is trying to insist on direct handovers. I know he can't but feeling v vulnerable and crappy that I have to be in this battle all the bloody time.
Whine over.

lowercase Mon 29-Oct-12 23:10:54

Just deal with each moment as it arises, ex isn't there now, so don't worry about it.
Concentrate on your breathing.
Relaxing.
Sending love to your baby.
When the negative stuff comes into your mind, refuse to think about it, or say out loud ' I will cross that bridge when I come to it',
You can do it.

DoubleYew Tue 30-Oct-12 16:53:24

Excellent advice above, i think.

Good luck with the birth and welcomming your new dc.

susiedaisy Tue 30-Oct-12 16:57:57

sending you hugs and positive thoughts, i have been through the courts with injuctions with my exh so know a bit about how you feel x

susiedaisy Tue 30-Oct-12 20:18:00

Bump for you

crackcrackcrak Tue 30-Oct-12 22:02:46

Thanks all. No sign yet. Everyone keeps telling me they are excited. I can't be - just the start of more shit sad

lowercase Tue 30-Oct-12 22:13:47

concentrate on your breathing...its virtually impossible to think when you are doing this.
ex p is controlling you still, even though he is not there.
dont let him!
just keep breathing.
conscious breaths.
if you are in fear, baby may hold on longer.

do you have family / friends helping you?
does midwife know any of this?

crackcrackcrak Tue 30-Oct-12 22:29:13

Mw knows about everything and was so worried she referred me to ss (with my full consent). My case doesn't meet the threshold yet - I was almost dissapointed - a SW would have given exp a nasty scare and he might have calmed die a bit.
My dm is staying with me and I have cc arranged for dd1. Everything is done/ready.
Today I told close friends I will not be announcing the birth and asked people not to post on fb etc about it. I have planned a communication hiatus from various areas of my life post birth. I will be asking my solicitor to hold back letters for a few weeks. I am determined I will have some time with my family in peace but it feels like a huge battle sad

DoubleYew Wed 31-Oct-12 23:17:53

How are you doing crack?

crackcrackcrak Thu 01-Nov-12 21:08:47

Shite. Not has the baby yet. Actually that's a bit dramatic. I have done my usual calming down because dickwad has been away a week now. But every day I go overdue is one less I get to spend just with my dc before the shit storm begins.

lowercase Thu 01-Nov-12 21:37:40

Your DC will still be with you won't they?
If he / situation comes into your head, switch to something else, start singing a song loudly, distract, say affirmations, pray.
You are living as if he is there even when he is not...
Don't give him any more of your time than you absolutely have to.
Take some power back.

DoubleYew Fri 02-Nov-12 10:21:05

Waiting for the baby to come is so frustrating, even in the best of circumstances.

Contact with a newborn is going to be pretty limited isn't it?

Remember you will have a lifetime with this baby.

NicknameTaken Fri 02-Nov-12 11:17:08

Poor old you <hugs>. Some wise words above. As Double says, you have a lifetime ahead of you with person about to come into your life. There will be some shit ahead, but there will be cuddles and laughter and good times as well. The communication hiatus is a great idea. Grit your teeth and vow to steal as much pleasure as you can.

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