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Is this a battle worth fighting?

(10 Posts)
NotaDisneyMum Sun 21-Oct-12 16:23:32

DD's Dad insisted on buying her a complete set of school uniform himself at the beginning of term (gave me loads of grief about it as he insisted on being at her uniform fitting etc), despite us having a written agreement that I buy all the essentials she needs as he pays CM via the CSA. DD changes homes through school, so is always wearing uniform when she arrives at the other house anyway, so doesn't need more than one set of uniform and a few spares confused

Anyway, the last two times she has arrived here, she has not been wearing the same clothes that she left in the previous week, but has been wearing clothes he bought her.
Not a problem, and normally it wouldn't bother me, other than the fact that he has bought her 100% polyester school trousers, which I would prefer to avoid as she is prone to cystitis and so I try and make sure that she wears breathable fabrics as much as possible - certainly when she is wearing them all day.

We now have two pairs of polyester trousers at our house that he has bought, and he has two pairs of cotton trousers that I have bought - which will undoubtedly stay in the wardrobe at his house until she has grown out of them. Should I make an issue of it and try and get them back so she can wear a pair when she is here, or shall I just go and buy more cotton trousers for her to wear and keep the poly ones here? Whichever I do, it will end up in more grief for me - so I'm wondering whether to just stick her in the polyester ones and hope she doesn't get another infection sad

mellowcat Sun 21-Oct-12 16:26:34

If you could afford it, I would just buy the new trousers, saves the hassle.

NotaDisneyMum Sun 21-Oct-12 16:32:40

There'll still be hassle though - he'll demand his back if DD doesn't wear them [err]

ChasingSquirrels Sun 21-Oct-12 16:34:12

why doesn't your DD just wear the cotton ones when she goes to his, and then they will be in use again?

NotaDisneyMum Sun 21-Oct-12 16:35:28

She says he's taken them out of her wardrobe so she didn't have a choice angry

ChasingSquirrels Sun 21-Oct-12 16:36:31

words fail me at that sad

NotaDisneyMum Sun 21-Oct-12 16:41:28

Yup - he's a controlling arse, and I am faced with this sort of thing weekly - I'm learning which battles to fight and which to leave; not sure about this one though....?

avenueone Sun 21-Oct-12 21:42:07

How old is she? can she not tell him herself that she needs the cotton trousers due to personal health issues? men don't usually like getting too much into this so he may just go with it. I am all for girls taking initiatives themselves for themselves as soon as they are at an age they can do so. If he is controlling he will try and control her and I worry if you leave it as you will have to, he transfers the control to your DD.

BieneMaja Sun 21-Oct-12 21:51:10

I would think that she could ask to wear the cotton ones when at his. I know that my 5 y.o is more than vocal about what she wears. She would know the difference between the feel of poly and cotton. Maybe she should just say she finds them scratchy?

I do have this problem to an extent. Things go to daddies house never to be seen again, only to appear at some point when they are far too small.

purpleroses Sun 21-Oct-12 22:18:00

I would ask her to put the cotton ones on next time she's with him. Where on earth has he put them? Surely she can ask and say she prefers the cotton ones.

But if not would she soon be outgrowing them and needing new ones anyway?

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