Pre Teen Drama Queen (And Hypochondriac!) Long post, sorry!(4 Posts)
I've just been reading a great thread about pre-teens but the thread is over a year old so I thought I'd start another one.
DD (11) has huffed her way out the door, slamming it, again this morning. She trod on a small thorn last night (despite being told repeatedly not to go in the garden without something on her feet!) so, this morning, she's limping around as if her foot's fallen off. I did make and effort, honestly I did, but she just has to escalate everything to the heights of unreasonableness! DD (limping and grimacing) "Ouch Mum, it REALLY Kills, it's gone all red around it!" Me: Ok, I'll get you some antiseptic cream (non-stinging) and a plaster and we'll have a look" (See, I am trying!) DD (very quietly, under her breath) "I'm NOT having cream on it!" Me: "L, if it's all red it means it's infected and needs something to bring the inflammation down". At this point she goes to put the plaster on, I nip it off her so I can look at the wound. Well, you'd need a magnifying glass to see it and the redness was non-existent but, still, I know these things can hurt so, grit my teeth and give her the 'things in the garden can cause infections blah, blah, blah. DD "Don't care, I AM NOT PUTTING CREAM ON IT!" Stomp, stomp, stomp. Cue 'Saggy Shoulder's Moment' for me!
Yesterday it was an argument about not wearing a coat (it was chucking it down!), before that it was "I can't wear THOSE socks, they make me looks stupid" and we also have the total meltdown because her hair won't go right and it was 'disgusting' (tears and everything!). Just about every morning she has a bad tummy, her trouser make her look like a dork, a sprained wrist, won't eat breakfast because she only likes the blue bowls and none are clean, twisted ankle, feels sick, is too tired. I've done all the checking about school/bullies/too much work etc (close friends with her friend's Mums' - very useful and checked with school and she appears happy and well adjusted and doing well.) and all seems OK and I realise that a lot/some of it is attention seeking I have two other children, not always easy for 'one to one' time) and some is hormones but it just ends up pushing us apart. I'm now finding it really difficult to be sympathetic at all as she puts it on so much.
Oh, oh, (I know this is too long already but I have to off-load this doozy!) last week, she burst in the door after school, almost crying and said "Mum, we MUST go to the hospital! Now! My best friend has had half her finger torn off in PE, she's been taken to hospital and her Mum doesn't know and she's all alone and scared!!!" Me: "Oh, that's awful, who is it?" DD came back with a name I'd never heard of! (and I do keep abreast of these things). I tried (oh, I tried!) to calm her down and explain that even if I did stop cooking dinner in the middle, found DS1 and DS2 and drove the 11 miles to the hospital - they wouldn't let us in as we're not family. DD "I'll lie and say I'm her sister!!" Sheesh! Subsequently found out the injury was hugely exaggerated. She even has to be dramatic about other peoples dramas!
We went on holiday in the summer and she reverted back to being a sweet 11 year old child (instead of a pseudo 15 year old!) as she had no peer pressure. We had such a great time and got close again. As soon as we got back, she slipped straight back into Moody Mode.
I do try and find time with her and it is often really nice. Maybe music or a TV soap snuggled up in bed but most of the time she drives me up the wall. He father's worse than useless. He never did understand 'women's things' and he constantly gives in to her - DD "Oh, don't worry about Dad, Mum, I can wind him round my little finger." !
Oh, and don't even get me started on the back-chat!
Sorry for the long rant. Just hoping to find someone in a similar situation. Feeling like a bad and failing Mum right now. I miss my lovely daughter!
try postin on www.mumsnet.com/Talk/preteens
don't have any advice but just wanted to say bless you, you sound like a lovely mum!
I feel your pain and am have similar- glad it's not just me!
I think she must feel secure with you, to be doing it, so that's good anyway.
Thanks for the link cestlavielife have re-posted on the preteens page too. Lovely words Sarah, thank you. , it is nice to know I'm not alone.
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