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Moan ExH not tackling any complex homework.

(11 Posts)
Lonecatwithkitten Sun 14-Oct-12 12:58:35

So we have tackled the homework for the weekend plus all the bits DH had failed to support DD with on his nights in the week. Plus a school reading book is missing in action at his house!
Just fed up with having to be the one who is doing all the homework.
She is at an academic school which she loves and he wants her stay at, but he just can't see that completing the homework is important for partly DD's self esteem and continued learning.
On top of this she learns clarinet which she loves, but I have had to arrange overnight stays at school for clarinet as he forgets it all the time - the lesson is always on the same day.

mumblechum1 Sun 14-Oct-12 12:59:48

How old is your dd? Surely it's up to her to do her homework by herself?

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 14-Oct-12 13:09:01

She's 8 yes she does it herself, but likes some support ie someone to sit with her. One bit required searching on Internet to get facts, another bit was on line maths and final bit was producing a4 poster in word including finding clip art picture. So yes she does most of it herself, but does need support and more importantly reminding to do it,

mumblechum1 Sun 14-Oct-12 17:26:33

Perhaps you can recruit the school to have a word with him, he's obviously not taking any notice of you sad

crackcrackcrak Sun 14-Oct-12 17:33:58

Yanbu - she needs and is entitled to the support. This is the difference between care and parenting.
Try and speak to him about it but if it doesn't work I'd approach the school to have a word too.
Good luck

StaceymReadyForNumber3 Sun 14-Oct-12 17:36:30

YANBU I ranted at XH for not doing dd's homework last weekend, so I was helping her at 7pm when she should have been going to bed. For some reason doing the 'real' bits of parenting don't seem to apply to my x.

I feel for you op!

purpleroses Mon 15-Oct-12 09:23:32

I have the same problem with my ex - I try a mixture of tactics - getting DCs to try and remember themselves, texting ex to remind him of something that needs doing, emailing him if nec, and trying to get him to come along to parent teacher evenings to get him involved. And trying to work out which tasks can be most usefully done with the ex, and which I'd be better off helping with and letting him know what it would be good if he did.

Helps a bit, but if your DD lives mainly with you I think you have to accept that you'll have to do most of the help. At 8 I agree, most kids do still need some support.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 15-Oct-12 13:40:15

Thank you all glad I'm not the only one. I'm afraid it is a no win situation with him he just won't do it. Just wanted a rant.
So far everything is about him and DD is too little to stand up any of it. She is an outspoken forthright girl I suspect he will suffer terrible backlash when she hits teenage.

NKd1168603232742 Tue 16-Oct-12 16:05:37

I have the same thing. He has my 8 year old girl every other weekend and Mon/Tues nights. She is in year 4. Ever since she started school, homework's always been given out on Fridays and it's to be handed in on Wednesdays.

On his weekends, it just doesn't get done. It's him being lazy, not that they're having fun packed weekends and has no time. Instead, leave it for a Tuesday night when she's been at school, a school club and then after school club, is starving and tired. Oh and then moan that she's not co-operating.

I have spoken to the school about it. No help.

The only thing I can do is not let her go to her dads until I can get the homework done.

Our daughter also has possible learning difficulties which he moans about but it's odd as he's not prepared to put the time in to give her the additional support.

I get so mad over this and I moan to my friends endlessly. But then he is distracted with going on FB and talking to his new female friends and listening to music/everything else than sitting with her.

Sorry...can feel myself ranting now.

ladydeedy Wed 17-Oct-12 19:46:54

Really? Homework is for children to do, surely? it should be age-appropriate for the child.
I can get that your child may want an adult to review/check it over but not DO or sit with them or guide them whilst they do it?

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 17-Oct-12 20:08:36

I don't do it, but do sit and support whilst making a poster in word on the computer as she was asked to last week on Sir Issac Newton she needed to be shown where clip art was in my version of word which is different to the one at school.

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