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Split with Partner - Still live together. Help Please

(4 Posts)
Rileymum0408 Tue 09-Oct-12 09:54:13

At the weekend i decided to split with my partner. He would rather go out drinking all day than spending time with me and my son (i am pregnant with his second baby) I got pushed too far this weekend when he promised to be home to spend an hour with his 1 year old son before bedtime - he staggered in at 1am and i can not put up with it as it happens everytime he goes out.

I told him i wanted him out of the house (which i own) and he broke down. The thought of not seeing his son everyday broke his heart and he has promised me he will change. I just feel i can not carry on dreading everytime he goes out anymore, not now i have my unborn baby to think about. When he does this i feel he is showing me no respect and knows it works me up (to the point i was short of breathe when he came in at 1am) I can not put my baby in danger

He is currently in the spare room but i cant see this working. I am not happy in the relationship anymore so ended things - i want him to see his son so agreed to him staying in my house as a father to his son rather than a partner. It already feels a bit awkward and i dont know whether i can live like this. I am wondering if it is for the best for him to move out now while my son is still young. Means he will get used to seeing his dad seperately. I just worry he wont bond with his new baby if he is not there.

Has anyone else done this and has it worked out?

cestlavielife Tue 09-Oct-12 15:55:21

no you cant live like that.
get him to leave and ave dc on specific days and times and show some responsibility.
i he is out til 1 am he doesnt see child anyway does he ?

avenueone Tue 09-Oct-12 20:10:38

You sounds very willing to allow him to have lots of contact if he wants it so he will bond if he chooses too. You can't be responsible for his behaviour only your own responses to it.
It will not be easy but deep down you know what you need to do for your own happiness and the stability of your children. Cestlavielife is spot on.

EagleRiderDirk Tue 09-Oct-12 20:18:51

I never had children with xh, but we lived together for 4 months after we split. It was awful. In the end I went back to my parents, as horrible as that felt, just to get out. If you really feel you can't do it then you'd be better off turfing him out.

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