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How do other lone parents cope without the sex??

(15 Posts)
soontobedivorced Sat 29-Sep-12 00:31:45

I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only one, this wasn't great with ex-dh but with no dp on the horizons and I'm not the shagging around type, I miss the cuddles. Not just the sex but the cuddles. Sure, I give my kids loads but its not the same. * sigh *

Ladylou83 Sat 29-Sep-12 00:52:47

Not helpful advice, but Ann summers got me through that initial 'need sex' stage, then I found a FWB (who has since become my bf). Wasn't planned, we just grew closer

Couragedoesntroar Sat 29-Sep-12 20:07:53

I miss the touch too. I think I am just trying to accept that I miss it and that's how it is for now. Helps me remember what I do want at some point in the future when it's possible. I don't feel lonely per se - great friends - but I feel physically alone, like my body is lonely iyswim.

soontobedivorced Sun 30-Sep-12 09:41:47

I know. Tons of men out there on dating sites quite happy to oblige but all they want is a shag and as soon as they have that they are gone and its not worth it. Is it too much to ask to find someone who actually gives a shit cos that's what I'm holding out for. Losing faith in men!!

ParsleyTheLioness Sun 30-Sep-12 10:47:26

I was thinking this only yesterday. Have never gone so long without sex! Would like to think I would be having it again at some stage, but I think I'm just too raw at the moment, so unless I could find a bloke for the cuddle thing without the sex would leave me just too vulnerable, and for me not worth it at the moment. Hopefully, will heal before too long, and be able to move on.

minmooch Sun 30-Sep-12 21:18:53

I find chocolate a very good substitute! It's satisfying and never disappoints!

soontobedivorced Mon 01-Oct-12 10:29:03

I've always had a high sex drive and finding it very difficult managing without, even with the help of Ann Summers! But I'm just not meeting anyone nice. A FWB would be ideal but he would have to be a real friend not someone who wants a quick shag without any interest in getting to know me, or wants to spend every spare moment with me, on the dating sites I only seemed to be meeting guys from opposite ends of the spectrum!

Couragedoesntroar Mon 01-Oct-12 20:52:56

I miss sex, and physical intimacy generally, but I do not want casual sex either. I try and keep faith that one day it will happen for me. I'm 37 so I imagine that it is statistically likely, but it feels a long way away from here. It's strange thinking of sex as something other people have, but not me, when it was something I took for granted for so long.

smoothieooo Thu 04-Oct-12 12:28:11

I took a deep breath and went into Ann Summers and chose my 'little friend'. The lady behind the counter couldn't have been more helpful and it wasn't embarrassing at all.

I posted on another thread today about how I can't imagine being ready to do the deed with someone other than STBEx-H but had plenty of practice with other people before we were married!

I get lovely cuddles from DS1 and reluctant cuddles from DS2 but part of me thinks that I'll never have intimacy with anyone else again... which makes me feel sad.

detectivebeaver Sat 06-Oct-12 17:12:43

21 months and counting sad Could really do with not just sex but someone special who is interested in me.

Conflugenglugen Sat 06-Oct-12 17:24:58

FWBs. And that's not a euphemism for a shag. They have been friends.

SeveredEdMcDunnough Sat 06-Oct-12 17:25:11

I feel fine without sex.

It's what it represents that I miss, I suppose - the thought of being loved and cared for by someone is very hard to bear, when it's so far from what you have.

But I know people who want to have sex with me, without the other bit, and tbh it's nothing to me - I feel nothing. So I don't bother with that.

I have to believe there is some love there before I can be physically intimate with someone.

So, I keep my male friends and spend time with them. It helps a bit though I know it's not love; companionship and mutual respect is pretty good too.

LizLemon007 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:26:38

21 months is nothing. I went nearly five years.

Meglet Sat 06-Oct-12 17:28:20

Keeping busy, the gym and chocolate.

Almost 4yrs and counting. No one has the children over night and my odd spare hour is better filled with the gym. I suppose they will head to Uni in 14yrs or so......

I still wax my bikini line and legs though, I'm not turning into a yeti just becauuse I'm single.

hatesponge Sat 06-Oct-12 17:37:52

I seem to only meet men interested in one-off sex. Which (temporarily) scratches an itch, but all in all isn't that satisfying. I'd prefer something more regular, even if not a formal relationship, but can't find it. So until then, have to make do with what is effectively a ONS every couple of months. Not ideal.

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