one of those days...

[cheesestrung]

as a lone parent, do you ever have days when you just break down and it all seems too much and it is getting on top of you? you feel trapped, like you are stuck in a cycle of routine and are only just about keeping your head above water, keeping everything together, financially, working, giving your child a decent upbringing. I dont have any support, my ex husband seems clueless. well, today is one of those days. just needed to rant and i am sure everyone feels like this sometimes, perhaps just feeling sorry for myself..

[cestlavielife]

today jsu focus on what needs to be done.
give yourself a treat - bath / book/ five minutes with a ciup of coffee.
tell yourself how well you are doing keeping all the plates spinning.
you are the heroine of your life no the victim ...
tomorrow will be a better day.

[crackcrackcrak]

Yes of course I have those days. It seemed like a few months I only had those days!

What's the biggest task/problem you have just now? Maybe we can help?

[TheJiminyConjecture]

Yep! It's always worse when I'm tired or run down. I have good friends but parents are in Oz and pil haven't spoken to me or asked about DD since DH introduced his new gf...

My morning started with DD telling me she'd done a pooh and then me disovering some of it had somehow dropped out of her nappy and there were little pooh steps all around her bedroom As well as the obligatory pooh all down her legs etc etc

(Should add have been ill with flu for a week, luckily (?) got it worst over my days off so dragged myself to work for my contracted hours with the tail end of it so just a stinking cold.)

Of course today is the day I start getting a sense of smell back. Typical when there's pooh everywhere and of course my neighbours are cooking their infamous 12 hour (minimum) fish stew

Hopefully my morning has made you smile, it's bloody hard being a parent. Rant away, it's good to have a moan!

[crackcrackcrak]

Argh dd wriggled when I changed her nappy the other day and poo dell down the back in the changing table, on the carpet, various toys she had dropped down there.....I wasn't pleased! First time this has happened since she was a baby - she's bloody 3!

A few weeks back I was not yet running late but on a v tight timetable to get to work. Dd and I dressed, pack lunch done rtc then I dropped a whole tub of double cream on the kitchen floor just before we are about to leave the house. It honestly nearly broke me! Sod the divorce and court case and exhaustion etc - this bloody huge cream puddle which I couldn't risk leaving to run into the bare boards and stink was really the proverbial last straw!

I am becoming much more philosophical about things now and when things seem to fall apart I have to remind myself I'm just tired and that's all it is.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Yes today. I am in middle of purchasing some business and selling another part, got burgled a year ago today, my beautiful cat died two weeks ago, dropped iPhone down toilet on Tuesday, bastard husband run off with someone else and is having a whale of a time, I will be forty on Saturday and a well meaning friend has managed to give school the impression I'm about to top myself. No I am not about to top myself and miserable and fed up.

[crackcrackcrak]

Lone - re the iPhone. Call your phone company and tell whopping lies about how it's just stopped working and insist they replace it. This worked twice with orange when I dropped prada phone down the loo, twice!

[TheJiminyConjecture]

I am becoming much more philosophical about things now and when things seem to fall apart I have to remind myself I'm just tired and that's all it is yep totally agree with this. Have stuck a whiteboard to my fridge and write on anything that makes me smile or reminds me to keep going. Atm it's 'Don't wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain' Cheesy I know but it reminds me to make the most of today.

Lonecat - Sorry to hear about your cat. DD did the toilet thing with my Blackberry. Did you try putting it in a box of rice?

Also I know too well the feeling that ex is having the best of both worlds. He gets to swan around with no reponsibilities, money worries and gets to sleep for most of the month . Then gets a delightful little girl to show off and play happy families with his new partner. I just remind myself that no matter how broke I am or how wet my socks are because my boots have holes in, I have DD all the time and I wouldn't swap that. Plus, I'm bloody awesome so he's lost out twice

[crackcrackcrak]

I sometimes think ex has the best of both world but I'm not so sure. It's not always about the big presents and days out - its also about the little things and he's def missing out. This is the conversation I had at bedtime with dd....

(she's 3)

Me: 2 more minutes then we need to go to bed.
Dd: but I don't waaaaaaant to! I want to go in my play rooooooom!
Me: oh but dd, we could read another story from your new story book - we haven't read them all yet.
Dd: the new story book with the doctor in it and and and and the neeeeeew baby?
Me: yes!
Dd: let's go!!!!! (sprints up the stairs)

Exp can go out every night and do whatever he likes......I don't even care

[cheesestrung]

thanks for your responses... i guess at the moment, i am not facing anything "big".. my divorce is finalised, i own my own home (although Im not sure i will stay in former marital home forever - too may memories) i have a well paid part time job.
However, i am depressed. I feel where is my life going? Im nearly 36. I'd love a family,another child. Ive ended what became an abusive (ea) relationship.. I feel back to square one, no confidence, panic attacks etc.. he gave me an ultimatum, he "moves in or its nothing, no inbetween" wtf? too much for me after being married so long and this new relationship no feeling quite right and me feeling pressured :-(
so after 18 months, it seems thats it. i wont here from him again. i feel devastated but i dont know why as i knew he wasnt for me.. but i cant stop crying. i miss the company and the hope he brought..
I must be going wrong in relationships... i couldnt commit to him. i guess i just wasnt ready :-(

[cheesestrung]

wont hear from him again

[suburbophobe]

he gave me an ultimatum, he "moves in or its nothing, no inbetween"

OMG! See this as a "lucky escape"! He sounds very controlling. You deserve so much better than that! You made the right decision, cos he would've made your (plural) life hell.

I'm a LP too, tho my son is at uni now. It's been a long hard slog (absolutely no input from his dad).

You know what? When someone compliments me on my son I know I did it ALL BY MYSELF!

You need to be gentle with yourself and yes, give yourself treats now and again. You are more than "just" a mother. We all need our batteries charging from time to time.