Sorry this is bit of a rant really. Apologise now for the grammer etc
It is my DS birthday in November and basically I wanted to be the better person and put what could be in the best interest of DS by sending a pre invite text to Ex Mother so that I could say to DS when he is older that I did try with Ex's side of family. Never for one minute did I think they say yes.
Bit of back story...Ex walked out for OW last year 3 weeks before DS 2nd birthday. Ex has been difficult since i.e. not sticking to contact, letting me down at the last minute. saying he has no money to see DS then booking weekends away, 5* holidays, buying a new car etc etc. Ex has also tried to take me to court to throw us out the family home he pays nothing towards and did not put any deposit into because he does not want that connection with me...his name is on the mortgage and I can not get a mortgage in my own name just yet. Ex has also reduced his payments for DS by going to the CSA and pays for nothing else at all.
Last thing he did was not turn up to have DS for the week and blamed me and told people I had stopped him and he even tried to tell my mother that but she had seen the text stating he was not bothering to turn up the following day. Obviously these things are annoying and as everything is still pretty new and I have had to change plans, cancel work shifts at last minute and I have had a go at him about how selfish he is and for not putting DS first ever. I then got a text from him saying he wants nothing to do with DS because of my abuse i.e. me telling him it is not acceptable to not bother turning up and I was really angry he was trying to throw us out of our home. Never in front of DS and all by text/email. He has not called or seen DS since beginning of July.
Ex family have had nothing to do with me and have never really called to speak to DS. I had to send a text to get them to call him on Christmas Day. They have backed Ex 100% even in regard to trying to throw us out of our home. I also sent Ex mum a text saying that although Ex does not want contact she is more than welcome to call DS but she then sent Ex the text I sent her but added on 'Happy sent this what would you like me to do I'll do what you prefer' So basically asking his permission GRR! She never called nor did any of his brothers, grandparents or sisters. I basically don't exist in their eyes any more nor does my DS it seems. They refused to come to DS birthday last year despite Ex coming and threw DS another party just for them.
Anyway so I sent this pre invite text expecting them to ignore it or say no. They didn't I can't believe it. My family dislike them due to their behaviour towards me and DS and because they looked down there noses at my family and rarely spoke to any of them or my friends despite my family trying to talk to them when we were together. Not only that but Ex's dad and his wife refused to take sides like my Ex asked them too so Ex no longer speaks to his dad. Ex's dad and his wife despise Ex's mum and 3rd husband due to her behaviour when Ex was growing up and all her affairs.
Plus I asked Ex if he could give some money towards the party and he sent me a text that said 'I have to deal with the pain of not seeing DS because of your abuse and you have only contacted me for money' He's causing himself pain as I have never stopped him seeing DS he doesn't bother bloody calling or seeing him and it was his choice to stop seeing him. I would like to point out that my friends don't think I have actually been that abusive as I have just told him he has been out of order.
It is going to be world war 3 isn't it???? I am crapping myself as I can't tell any one they are coming as no one would turn up!!!!
Aaaaarrghhhh!!
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I feel I have made a booboo!
Happylander · 24/09/2012 16:21
So, basically you have invited your ExMIL over for a party that you don't want her to attend?
You invited her as you thought it would make you look like the bigger person in front of you ds when he is older?
She has now accepted the invitation. Surely its in yor ds's best interests that she is part of his life... and you really are being the bigger person, rather than just making it look like you are 
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Why did you invite them?!
Still it's done now, and if they've decided to come it might be because they've decided to turn over a new leaf and make more effort with your ds, so it might all be fine anyway
It might even guilt ds' dad into trying to behave like a normal decent human being and try harder with your ds? Though although he sounds like an utter arse I do think it's a bit off for you to ask for money if he is paying regular child maintenance through the CSA, not that that excuses his awful behaviour in ignoring his son
I hope that the day goes well and is as stress free as possible 
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