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Do you have arrangements, should the worst happen?

(7 Posts)
thedogsrolex Sun 08-Jul-12 19:03:25

Just thinking really..anything could happen at any time. I hope it doesn't but you never know.

My kids have different fathers, dd doesn't see hers (long story), she doesn't know him really, they only had contact for about six months when she was five and nothing since. Ds has always had contact with his dad.

If anything happened to me I would want them to stay together, so I guess they would have to live with my mum. What rights would my exes have though? Would this be possible? Dd's dad wouldn't want her anyway, ds's dad probably would want him.

exoticfruits Sun 08-Jul-12 19:19:18

I was a lone parent but DH was dead. I think it essential for anyone. Make a will and appoint guardians-however an ex could overturn it-talk to them.

thedogsrolex Sun 08-Jul-12 19:43:31

That's the bit I dont get, legally i'm clueless.

ItsRainingOutside Sun 08-Jul-12 20:19:38

I agree with exoticfruits. Make a will, appoint executors and explicitly spell out how you want your assets managed, particularly property. You need one executor to take responsibility for selling property (without this, they won't be able to and your ex may get control of it), and named legal guardian/s for your children. Ex may be able to overturn your choice if he has good reasons. I've made sure my daughter's school fees are put in trust so she can move to being a boarder in her current school with my best friend as legal guardian. Having no close family and my ex being a dead-beat dad, this seems my best option.

exoticfruits Sun 08-Jul-12 20:40:02

See a solicitor.( Or you could ask at CAB in the first instance.)

Bluepenny Sun 08-Jul-12 21:38:32

Having recently spoken to a solicitor about this topic, you can "express your wishes" in your will by appointing guardians, but they can be contested by ex/family when the time comes (also depends on dc ages at the time as they will have a say if old enough). However schooling, friends, stability, etc, will all be taken into consideration when they look at both your written wishes and the contested request, if there is one.

There is no guarantee either way with this one, but it's definitely worth putting named guardian(s) in your will and I've written a separate letter that goes with mine explaining why DS should go where I wish.

It is possible for you to put your Mum as guardian and state that you wish dc to stay together. Your ex won't have an automatic right to have your ds.

It is definitely worth having a will drawn up.

ThreeEdgedSword Fri 05-Oct-12 03:45:30

DS has godparents, who are named as guardians if anything happens to me (his dad doesn't get a look in - bloody waste of space). I also have life insurance in case I go before he's 18. It's enough to keep him fed and clothed and get him through uni.

Always, always make sure you have a will. I didn't think about it until I found out I had to make one to stop his dad getting him.

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