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what to do with nursery?

7 replies

splashymcsplash · 11/10/2011 22:21

My dd is in nursery now. She lives with me, no contact with father for nearly 2 months (his choice). I put both of us as parents on the registration form. I have been the only person to pick or drop her off however. I'm worried her father might turn up and take the away - obviously very distressing for her as she doesn't know him. He is on birth cert. Can I tell nursery to not allow him to pick her up? Haven't said anything so far.

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19111990 · 11/10/2011 22:39

I am guessing you should be able to, as she lives with you.

I am hoping you can. My Daughter start's in January and her dad walked out of her life 3 months ago.

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piprabbit · 11/10/2011 22:42

My DH is made to jump through hoops to collect my DS - and his name and photo are on my DS regsitration form as someone who can collect DS.
In fact they have been known to call me and double check.

I am certain that you can arrange with the nursery who is and who isn't allowed to collect your DD in your absence.

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jade80 · 11/10/2011 22:45

You can tell them you don't want him to, but technically if he has 'parental rights' they can't prevent him from taking her. They may well agree to phone you should he turn up and use delaying tactics (e.g. lost shoes) until you can get there. This is how i understand it anyway.

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piprabbit · 11/10/2011 22:51

Our nursery does not admit anyone they do not recognise by sight (hence the use of photos on registration forms). I think if anyone tried to force entry they would not hesitate to call the police.

It sounds as though you need to talk to your nursery as it seems from what jade and I have said, that individual nurseries can have different policies.

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FeelingOld · 11/10/2011 23:11

Well presuming no one from the nursery has ever met your dd's dad then i presume they would not hand her over to a stranger.

However, I am a childminder and i looked after a little boy whose parents had split up and it was very hostile split. Little boy lived with mum and she told me that if his dad came to get him i was not to hand him over, when i checked this out with the legal team at NCMA they told me that legally i could not stop him taking the child as he had PR for the him. So his mum and i agreed that if he did turn up (luckily he didnt) then i would ring her and try to delay things by taking my time to collect his belongings, chatting etc.
I had met his dad on 3 or 4 occasions so i knew who he was so identity wasnt an issue like it is here.

I would just make nursery aware of the situation and like i said before, if they have never met him then they would not hand her over to him.

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jade80 · 11/10/2011 23:29

They can have different policies, but what it comes down to is parental responsibility. They CANNOT stop a named parent taking their child without court documents. As long as the parents can prove they are who they say they are, all the nursery can do is delay. If they say anything else, they are mistaken.