This has been mildly bugging me - would it bug you too? (A bit long sorry)

[fluffythevampirestabber]

Backstory - DD1 is 13. Phoned me the other night from her Dad's to say "I need x it's at yours Mum can you drop it up"

Dad was out - had picked them up from school and buggered off to pretend to be important gone out to a meeting.

I phoned ex-H mobile and sent two texts to say basically DD1 needs x, I can drop it up is that OK or do you want to collect?

I got no response, so I dropped the item up around 7.40pm (was going out to do groceries anyway)

Last night (ie Friday) had to speak to ex about something else, and he said "BTW just to make you aware, DD1 needed stuff from yours yesterday so we called in to collect it"

Now, don't get me wrong, DD1 needed the stuff, she has keys of course she can get it.

But he made no attempt to contact me first, to let me know he was going round to collect stuff, just called for it - says he sat in the car and she went in and got it but that's kind of not the point.

It's annoyed me that he didn't even have the decency to text to say "DD1 needs whatever can we call for it"

For all he knew, I was in bed with toyboyfuckbuddy having a shagathon (I wasn't I was at uni but you know what I mean)

Would it annoy you or am I being over-sensitive?

[CristinadellaPizza]

It's a bit tricky because really your DD shouldn't have to check if it's alright for her to come to her home - it's not about your ex really. But on the other hand I can understand that if you are expecting to have a childfree evening, having your 13YO barge could be embarrassing.

I would ask her to call/text first because it would freak you out to have her suddenly walk in when you're not expecting it.

[fluffythevampirestabber]

It was during the day (in the morning on the way to school but I'd already left for uni)

I'm not angry or anything, just the routine between the two of us has been a text to say "Kids need xyz can I scoot down" sort of thing and it feels like he's having a dig/making a point because he didn't get my texts or message the other night, does that make sense?

[fluffythevampirestabber]

PS See my thread about the 5,000 text allowance and running out she has no money in her phone and I am sticking to my guns and not giving her any

[CristinadellaPizza]

Ah right :) In that case, I would ask him to contact you given she can't (haven't seen your other thread) - day or night, you wouldn't be expecting anyone to walk in and it might freak you out so that point is still valid

It's not your fault if he didn't get your texts/vms the other day - do you think he's being deliberately petty?

[KatharineClifton]

Or you could do it another way. Impress upon your DD that she is to take everything she needs when she goes. No excuses.

[fluffythevampirestabber]

I think he was being an arse and making the point that I'd been at his earlier in the week - but I did try to contact him, he didn't even bother.

Ah well, no harm done I suppose

[piellabakewell]

I still have a key to the former marital home, where exH still lives. He is ok with the DDs going in to get stuff (mostly because he can't be bothered to make sure they've got it all when they leave there) but I usually get one of the kids to call him first.

He does not have a key for my house, never will, and neither do the DDs at present so they have to call me first. There has only been one occasion in past 18m when I've had to be home for something DD has forgotten but can't live without (hair straighteners ).

[fluffythevampirestabber]

I just get the sense it's making a point, because I was at his earlier on you know?

PMSL @ hair straighteners