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what is wrong with all the men?

(10 Posts)
squareheadcut Tue 04-Oct-11 13:19:58

i think i look pretty hot nowadays - it could be in my head but really i feel great, lost a bit of weight recently and i'm enjoying dressing up and going out. the problem is that i am not getting any interest from men! no-one asks me out and i don't know if it's because i'm giving off some vibe which says don't approach me - i always seem to end up making all the moves. what is wrong with guys nowadays? or is it just me?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Tue 04-Oct-11 18:11:31

Just relax and enjoy going out in the evening with your friends. There's no reason why you can't ask a man out,you don't have to wait for someone to ask you, if you see someone you like go for it.

But remember,

desparation is not attractive


YoFluffy Tue 04-Oct-11 20:47:24

I agree with NotSuchASmugMarried - if you're trying "too hard", this does come across and can be off putting.

Ironically the best time to find a new partner is when you don't actually need one, when you're happy in your own skin. Confidence and happiness are attractive qualities.

Personally I'd rather have a big, cuddly labrador.

squareheadcut Tue 04-Oct-11 22:12:19

yes maybe that's it - i've been thinking of going on a speed date event on my own and was fearing that looks abit too desperate - i might give it a miss now

solidgoldbrass Wed 05-Oct-11 09:54:48

Speed dating can be a laugh but it's vital not to take it seriously. Also, dating when desperate is a bad idea: nice men run a mile but unfortunately really bad news men can smell desperation and they will be all over you.

akaemmafrost Wed 05-Oct-11 11:24:27

Well I went out and met someone at the weekend, it was clear that he was interested, sat with me all night, bought me drinks, was very attentive but didn't make a physical move at all. In the end I took his hand when making a point about something and then he went for it! But I definitely had to make the first move. Have heard from him since etc. Though won't be doing anything about it as have heard he has a girlfriend BUT I do know what you mean about having to make the first move.

I have wondered if it is because I am a lone parent actually and they see me as "different" from the usual women they try it on with. Do you think that could be it?

MrGin Wed 05-Oct-11 12:06:39

As a guy, unless you're just well rehearsed in playing the game, it can be a bit fraught making the first move. You're never sure if it's going to be interpreted as flattery or sexual assault unless there is a very clear indication from the woman.

Nice guys will be hesitant for this reason. Players probably won't care.

akaemmafrost Wed 05-Oct-11 14:51:20

That is interesting MrGin <<loves having men on MN to get a male viewpoint>>. That was definitely the impression I got. When I took his hand he certainly seemed to see that as a green light and went for it, but it was "right" if you see what I mean? I must admit I prefer it that way, ie them waiting for you to be clear, nothing worse than the gruesome lunge into the first kiss when the timing is wrong, puts me off immediately grin.

"Nice guys will be hesitant for this reason. Players probably won't care." - I like this, gives me a bit of rule to go by.

squareheadcut Thu 06-Oct-11 13:54:44

akaemmafrost - the same thing happened to me with a guy who i made a move on and he turned out to have a girlfriend - so i think MRGin is right that the players are the ones getting the benefit when it comes to me right now. i've decided to give up again and ignore them.

akaemmafrost Thu 06-Oct-11 14:03:49

Maybe they think it "doesn't count" if you make the first move. hmm. In a "well it would be rude not to" kind of way. Nobbers.

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