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DD's birthday approachng and feeling sad

(4 Posts)
marcopront Wed 28-Sep-11 15:39:28

My DD is 5 in two weeks. She's really excited and planning her party.

I split up with her Dad just over three years ago and we currently live in a different country to him. He used to phone her quite regularly but doesn't really any more. He managed a 10 minute conversation on Saturday and then was busy and had to go. That's the entire contact for the week.

I'm just feeling fed up with him for not contacting her and at the same time remembering her being born and how happy I was, and thinking about how different things are now.

Has anyone else felt the same way?

putyourrighthandin Wed 28-Sep-11 20:40:06

My dc's dad is also abroad and I am used to dealing with a similar attitude regarding conversations, marcopront. Sometimes he doesn't want to speak to the dc at all because he is too busy or the classic 'finds it too stressful.' hmm If I were in a different country to my dc and saw them as infrequently as he does I would be desperately waiting for any conversations.

Maybe it is his way of detaching and dealing with the emotions of the situation or perhaps he doesn't care enough about our dc. I don't know. I'm afraid I have no great advice on how to feel better about it because the situation still gets to me sometimes. I do try though to put the negative feelings out of my mind and remind myself of how well loved and cared for my dc are by me and also the fact that despite it all, they still love their dad and love spending time with him. My dc are, however, under 4 so I do worry how they will be effected by his flakiness as they get older.

newhorizon Thu 29-Sep-11 10:33:01

Sounds familiar. Ex left in Jan and is also abroad with his new wife. Has abandoned dd (who is also 4), made no effort to make any contact or pay maintenance.

Feel the same, for someone who was there when she was born, changed her nappies, watched her crawl, walk and talk and then cut off - don't understand it, but the best thing we can do is surround them by love and make them feel secure and happy. My dd is my main prioriy.

newhorizon Thu 29-Sep-11 10:33:32

sorry priority

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