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how to handle recurring nitts (most likely cause) from dads house?

(17 Posts)
festi Tue 27-Sep-11 18:35:51

DD has for about the last 8 weeks been returning from exp house with nitts. I have now started to condition comb her hair every night, have been doing so for past 4 weeks. Prior to that exp partners son had nitts and he didnt let me know fair enough. I treated dd 3 times before he said oh yeah x has them again too. He says they are using an electric nit comb. I did tell him that IMHO that is not really effectve.

Two weeks ago they both had them and dd was sent to exp house straight after treatment. I said to him he would need to go over with the comb and or conditioner in the morning to get any missed eggs or lice. when he brought her back he said she is clear no eggs or lice as he went over her hair with the electric comb and it didnt pick any up hmm. but that night she had a few eggs still in one area. so obviously the electric comb isnt effective as I had suggested and his checking isnt effective either.

I have continued doing daily with conditioner and comb and she has been clear. She returned with massive lice and eggs. after one night but he is insisting the boy is clear.

I just dont know how to handle this with them. I dont want to be having to do this daily just because of one tea or over night visit a week and dd is only 5 and getting upset about the regime. I have had a bit of a ruck with him over it and was close to saying sort out the problem your end or no visits home untill it is sorted, but I suposse I cant really do this. I have not used chemical treatment as cant afford it at the rate needed and too be honest the regime daily with 75p conditioner from asda is enough but still it is getting me and dd down now.

bestmammy Tue 27-Sep-11 18:59:59

that is absolutley disgraceful on his part, aswell as it is stressful on u its so hard on the child aswell, if it occcrs again i would say ur no visits until its sorted as thats traumatising for a kid to be that uncomfortable,, i mean ur doing more than enough every night he could take a leaf out of ur book,,

also u could buy tea tree drops, a few drops in shampoo or on clothing, mixed with water as a spray or in conditioner acts as a repellent to lice,, also iv herd strange as it is that mayonaise applied to haor and combined out is very good for removing eggs.. good luck, ur doing all that u can,, its up to him to pull up his socks xx

Maisiethemorningsidecat Tue 27-Sep-11 19:05:51

How awful sad

You're right Festi, the electric thing is no good whatsoever. I bought one, used it on DD and then realised that it had most of them. Conditioner and coming with a nit comb every 2-3 days was the only thing that shifted the buggars.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all to stop the visits until his partner's son is clear. I'm not sure where you stand legally, hopefully someone else will know.

tabbythecat Tue 27-Sep-11 19:32:19

you should be able to get free chemical treatment on prescription - in the past has been on NHS. However wet combing is most effective. You don't need to comb daily i think the advice is once every 4 days.
Would you stop your child from going to school due to a case of headlice being reported? Headlice is rampant in schools and preschools. One of my kids had recurrent cases of it.
Sit her on sofa between your legs and calmly comb her hair whilst she watches a DVD. Have a jug filled with warm water nearby and some paper towels to clean the comb. Wet n clear is a good aid to wet combing.

RantyMcRantpants Tue 27-Sep-11 19:32:47

i have 3 DC and they were constantly coming home from school with nits, it used to drive me batty. Then i discovered vosene 3in1 and they haven't had them since.

cestlavielife Tue 27-Sep-11 19:37:32

she could be picking them up at school,nursery regardles sof how well or not he treats her. .

annoying he not treating properly - but you cant stop visits because of nits .

there are some times you just have to keep combing every few days. we had a year where it was constant non stop . unless she stays with him for a week at a time you justhave to make sure you comb properly when she cmes back to you.

get a big comb and send her with it to his tho

cestlavielife Tue 27-Sep-11 19:37:45

bug comb i mean

GypsyMoth Tue 27-Sep-11 19:39:38

You can't Stop his access because of this!

Is it court ordered?

Agree, electronic combs are no use. But you really have no right to block contact with dad.

festi Tue 27-Sep-11 20:30:24

Thanks for the voseen link. I will check with doc as dd has psorieses on her scalp so tend to use prescribed shampo anyway. which isnt actualy working so have booked an apt to talk about that so will suggest this as it may even help.

I know I cant stop access but just getting frustrated. It isnt court ordered.

She is definatly not getting them at school, she possibly did intialy and even passed them on to X her self in the first place, but they are just not getting rid effectivly. She is clear all week, clear on leaving the house to go to his and returning with adult lice and new eggs, so is definatly comming from exp house.

he works shifts and so arranges dates a feww weeks in advance, he has her for tea twice and 2 over nights in the next month so if it continues for these next booked dates I am seriously considering saying take her out but dont take her to your house untill its sorted in the hope that it will kick them into action.

cestlavielife Tue 27-Sep-11 22:53:03

sounds like ex is infested himself ??!! and not treatinghimself?

cestlavielife Tue 27-Sep-11 22:53:41

but if he has them wont matter if they in or out of the house they go person to person

festi Tue 27-Sep-11 23:04:35

I hadnt considered he would have them, I think if he did he would be treating himself, surely hmm I bloody hope so. I dont know, but then I automaticly check and treat myself with dd when I used the treatment but now I just wet comb myself a couple of times a week but have not found any on myself.

mamas12 Wed 28-Sep-11 20:34:09

You need to send him information to help your dd eg treat everyone in the house etc.
You know the term feeling lousy came from nits don't you. The hystemine is your system gets you after a while so he i snot helping her health at all.

I would tell him what you plan to do too.

littlegreenapples Fri 30-Sep-11 10:43:02

coconut oil

Vibrant Fri 30-Sep-11 11:32:15

No, you can't stop contact because of this but you know that. IMO it's not something worth making a fuss about. I don't know how things are between you generally, but the way I'd look at it is that I'd just let it ride and save any arguments for the bigger stuff.

It's annoying, bit you'll probably find that if she doesn't get them from his place, she'll get them at school anyway. I nit comb dd every time I wash her hair as part of that routine. I've never used chemicals, just loads of conditioner and a nitty gritty comb and that works perfectly well. It's just a case of doing it regularly so you don't miss any they've picked up, and if she gets quite a few then I do 2 or 3 nights in a row then go back to the 2-3 times a week.

26minutes Fri 30-Sep-11 11:55:48

I know how much of a pita this is. My boys used to come back from the exs every time with nits. I'd get rid of them, they'd be clear, then the Sunday they were back they'd be plonked in the bath with me scraping conditioner through their hair getting the buggers out.

It's really not an issue worth rucking over, I've learnt you need to pick and choose your arguments very carefully. Luckily for me I was seeing my counsellor at the time it was happening otherwise I would have flown at him over it.

This isn't a major issue over health, it's more an inconvenience. A not very nice one I know, I really do, but in the wider scheme of things head lice is not worth getting into arguments and making life difficult. Keep going as you are, conditioner is much better than the expensive chemical treatments ime, you don't need to do it daily, that's just making it worse for you and for your dd.

Eventually they did stop coming back from there with them, it was long and very annoying to say the least, but it's a small annoyance in the grand scheme of things.

SaggyHairyArse Fri 30-Sep-11 12:00:16

It is a PITA but it is just one of those things...

I would suggest when you go to the Drs ask them for a supply of chemical treatment, to treat your DD and yuorself and then give the rest to your ex to use on his family (you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink).

When your DD goes to her Dads, it might be an idea to spray her hair with teatree oil as a preventative measure and encourage her to keep it tied up.

Best of luck!

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